Category: Twitter Hall of Fame

2015 Thanksgiving Twitter Hall of Fame

This is something I do every year for the holidays. I collect the funniest and most interesting tweets from around the Internet into Halls of Fame. I only use public tweets, but if you’re tweet is on here and you want me to take it down, just let me know at @marinaisgo and I’ll take it down no questions.

We got a pretty great crop this year from a precursor to horror…

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…to a budding Neighborhood Watch captain

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How long is it going to be live though?

“Oh, I see you two already know each other. You can sit together!”

I’m going to need some detail on that tail wearing situation.

I have a feeling I know what old dude is thankful for.

While it is wrong to try and fight the children, I do have to wonder why y’all are standing so close together.

Well, as long as you warned that ho.

2015 Halloween Twitter Hall of Fame

This is something I do every year for the holidays. I collect the funniest and most interesting tweets from around the Internet into Halls of Fame. I only use public tweets, but if you’re tweet is on here and you want me to take it down, just let me know at @marinaisgo and I’ll take it down no questions.

I have a feeling ministry is not what the underwear guy is there for, Padre.

Said no one ever.

Good policy.

I actually saw three idiots in Blackface, but I was working and therefore couldn’t fight them. But they were taking a selfie, so I have a feeling they’re suffering from the consequences of their own actions right about now. At least I hope so.

*ex-girlfriend’s

New Year’s Eve 2014 Twitter Hall of Fame

As you might imagine, last night was big for much-contested evil empire cabhack start-up Uber. Less so for friendly underdog Lyft, but they made a showing as well.

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The old bait and switch.

This girl takes “new year new you” very seriously.

A true friend will delete your balls from his Twitter stream, no matter how many faves they got.

I don’t know what kind of friend will let you stay passed out in somebody’s vomit so they can fuck in the bed you’re in.

You know you’re drunk when you’re mom-friend lap-dancing drunk.

Everybody wants to go to Maria’s party.

“Assisted with B&E 4.5 stars”

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I am so jealous.

What kind of tip do you give for that?

Besides that…

Back in my day, we just put a dick on a motherfucker’s face.

I am confused about the order of events. Was there one car accident or two?

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Were you by chance at Applebees?

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And a shout out to you as well, sir.

Always be closing.

wat.

McDonald’s secret menu…

Which begs the question, what does one cat do with multiple Pringles?

That’s a new promotion.

2014 Christmas Twitter Hall of Fame

I got a good crop this year. But first, the trend of promoted tweets linked to depraved search terms continues. Merry Christmas to Ford, Unilever, and Budweiser, you fucking sick bastards.

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On to the real reason for the season:

Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?

This is why communications is an essential part of any relationship.

Only one person can answer that question, and it sure isn’t me.

Fighting the good fight.

So it is.

You’d basically have to… or your entire career is a joke, right?

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Holiday Repost – The 21 Best Tweets from Christmas 2013 – A Chronological List

For your reading pleasure, a look back at the insanity that was last Christmas on Twitter. Now, go make this Christmas scandalous… and then tweet about it. I’ll be watching.


1.
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I see what you did there.


2.
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It’s so rare for me to feel like any form of self expression is inappropriate. And yet here we are.


3.
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4.
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Yes.


5.
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Do you perhaps go by the moniker of “Chinky Santa?


6.
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Extremely good question.


7.
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Aside from that.


8.
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It’s like poetry.


9.
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They’re already in church. I think Jesus is maxed out at this point.


10.
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11.
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12.
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13.
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14.
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15.
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Son, Batman may be your boyfriend, but he’s my soulmate. I will fight you.


16.
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As you can see, this was posted 7 hours ago. Since then there have been no follow-up tweets re: the blood. Let’s all hope this kid isn’t dead.


17.
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Shame on you, autocorrect!


18.
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A warrior has to stay on her toes. Even on Christmas.


19.
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20.
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21.
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And to all a good night.


This is the kind of awesome that happens to you when you’re scouring twitter for the best/worst of the season:

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And yes, I am quite upset that there weren’t any good dildo tweets this year. Shame on all of us for letting that happen.

Also, this:

2014 Thanksgiving Twitter Hall of Fame

The struggle is real.

The perfect end to a perfect thanksgiving: Fucking a white guy for cash.

That’s oddly specific.

Yes, but was the throw up half off?

Well, that escalated quickly.

For every racist Thanksgiving grandma…

Ah yes, the traditional Thanksgiving blunt.

Yay?

I don’t think this was necessarily Thanksgiving themed, but good to know.

That’s one way to avoid talking about politics.

“Hey, 60% off flat screens! By the way, I am 100% off dudes.”

Because God never told anyone to stab anyone else.

Low key, tho.

And the traditional pot of boiling dildos.

We Get It, We’re Great. Sit Down Mr. President.

So I watched about 5 minutes of the State of the Union Address, then caught the rest on Twitter. And it looks like you guys weren’t very impressed either.

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I know I usually separate these and say snarky things in between them, but it is midnight, and my day starts all over again in less than 6 hours. I love you, but I love sleep more.

And if you’re wondering about Representative Michael Grimm (R, Staten Island), who tried to fight a reporter last night, it appears that he is under investigation for campaign finance violations.

When Michael Scotto from NY1 asked about this in a post-SOTU comment sesh, Rep. Grimm felt the line of questioning was unprofessional, so threatened to throw the him off a balcony and “break [him] in half like a boy.” Because when a television reporter asks you a news question, threaten him in front of the camera so that everybody knows who the real professional is.

Holiday Repost: MLK Day 2013 Twitter Hall of Fame

We’ll see if I do another MLK hall of fame this year. It depends on the quality of the tweets. Anyway, here’s a repost from last year for your holiday pleasure.


In honor of the great man himself, I tried to do something a little different with this Hall of Fame. Rather than finding the biggest car wrecks, I at least made a passing attempt to stick to the positive side of things. However, there are a few things I want to clear up, which I never realized people might not know about Dr. King, but thanks to twitter I have now learned some of you have no earthly clue about.

Today is not his damn birthday, people! Nor is it the date of his assassination. Think about it. A fixed date can’t be the third Monday of Jan. every fucking year. It’s God damned impossible. His real birthday is Jan. 15, and his assassination day is April 4. The holiday is designed to fall near his birthday while still conforming to the Uniform Monday Holiday Act.

King was not a fucking Republican, nor was he conservative in any way. Stop saying this, it’s a damned lie. MLK was a radical advocate of non-violence in every avenue. He opposed the war in Vietnam, advocated for birth control and family planning, and his right hand man for many years was openly gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal. Dr. King was in Memphis trying to drum up support for striking union workers when he got fucking shot. So stop pretending that MLK would have had anything to do with the damn Republican party, especially the Republican party of today. He was disgusted by both parties when he was alive, he probably would feel much the same today. Also, that’s not the fucking point, jerks. All these assholes are being racist shitheads while pretending that 1. MLK would ever be on their shitty side and 2. that just because they’re not threatened by one black man that’s been dead for 50 years they get some kind of pass to defend a racist, sexist, homophobic party that no longer has any principals and only exists at the whim of the super rich. God Dammit.

I mean, MLK, as much as Gandhi, JFK, or any other human in history had is own problems and flaws. No man is a saint, but blatantly denying actual, research-able history just to prove your own stupid point (which is what? That smart people are Republicans too sometimes? Yeah, I know a few NBD) is intellectually lacking to say the least.


At least her heart’s in the right place.

Well, one of those things is actually irrelevant.

Maybe none of you guys are going to geek on the fact that Barack Obama was sworn into his 2nd term on MLK day, but I totally loved it.

Never refuse free food, no matter how racist it might be.

Cosmo tip?

There were a ton of these, but this one was the funniest.

OK, but that game had fucking save point problems. I think Dr. King is more of a Mass Effect kind of guy.

New Year’s Eve 2013 Twitter Hall of Fame

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There’s a lot going on in this tweet.


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nye_twhof_4If you’re in church on New Year’s and you still can’t avoid a fight, the problem may be you.


nye_twhof_5HAHAHAHAHAHA


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nye_twhof_7You have to admire her concern for her violent as shit perv brother.


nye_twhof_8Bummer.


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nye_twhof_11Every person on the Internet should follow this young man’s example. Before you do something stupid, think of how you’ll feel when it shows up in the paper.


nye_twhof_13So, did you go find your pants and piss in them, or were you naked next to pissy pants?


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nye_twhof_18Simple goals. That’s the secret to happiness.


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nye_twhof_30Yay?


nye_twhof_31Thank you for your honesty.


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File under: Things people called That__WhiteBoy can LMAO about.


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nye_twhof_37#gamergirlproblems


nye_twhof_38#Winning


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nye_twhof_45For the Twitter novice, tweets read bottom to top if you’re reading in chronological order.


nye_twhof_46_rawThat is a picture of exactly what you think it is.


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nye_twhof_48Again, shit only white people live to tweet about.


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nye_twhof_52She was just tagging that man meat for later use.


nye_twhof_53#Crimesicommitted


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nye_twhof_59Is this Benjamin Button’s Twitter? Because you are living your life in the wrong direction right now. You need to be the one coming home naked with a coat around your waist, not your moms!


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New Year’s resolution achieved. I think I really brought the sickness this year. Thanks to everyone who made it possible.

Holiday Repost – New Years Eve Twitter Hall of Fame (2012)

Happy New Year. Tomorrow you will find the 2013 New Year’s Eve Twitter Hall of Fame in roughly the same spot where you are seeing this post right now. As you can see, I did resolve to find some better crazy in 2013, and the Christmas hall of fame was sadly devoid of mess this year, so everything’s riding on New Year’s. No whammies.

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To be honest, I was expecting a little more from this year. My resolution is to find better twitter crazy in 2013

Get it? She’s a megaslut.

That is not where I thought that was going.

Fav if you are a dead hooker… no really, I need to take a headcount.