In honor of the great man himself, I tried to do something a little different with this Hall of Fame. Rather than finding the biggest car wrecks, I at least made a passing attempt to stick to the positive side of things. However, there are a few things I want to clear up, which I never realized people might not know about Dr. King, but thanks to twitter I have now learned some of you have no earthly clue about.
Today is not his damn birthday, people! Nor is it the date of his assassination. Think about it. A fixed date can’t be the third Monday of Jan. every fucking year. It’s God damned impossible. His real birthday is Jan. 15, and his assassination day is April 4. The holiday is designed to fall near his birthday while still conforming to the Uniform Monday Holiday Act.
King was not a fucking Republican, nor was he conservative in any way. Stop saying this, it’s a damned lie. MLK was a radical advocate of non-violence in every avenue. He opposed the war in Vietnam, advocated for birth control and family planning, and his right hand man for many years was openly gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal. Dr. King was in Memphis trying to drum up support for striking union workers when he got fucking shot. So stop pretending that MLK would have had anything to do with the damn Republican party, especially the Republican party of today. He was disgusted by both parties when he was alive, he probably would feel much the same today. Also, that’s not the fucking point, jerks. All these assholes are being racist shitheads while pretending that 1. MLK would ever be on their shitty side and 2. that just because they’re not threatened by one black man that’s been dead for 50 years they get some kind of pass to defend a racist, sexist, homophobic party that no longer has any principals and only exists at the whim of the super rich. God Dammit.
I mean, MLK, as much as Gandhi, JFK, or any other human in history had is own problems and flaws. No man is a saint, but blatantly denying actual, research-able history just to prove your own stupid point (which is what? That smart people are Republicans too sometimes? Yeah, I know a few NBD) is intellectually lacking to say the least.
IT’S 2013 BUT IM STILL AS UNATTRACTIVE AS I WAS IN 2007 THIS IS NOT WHAT MLK DREAMED FOR
— ?Olivia? (@twerkforlarry) January 22, 2013
Seems kinda racist that Hollywood hasn’t made ‘MLK: Vampire Hunter’.
— Bill Mc7 (@BillMc7) January 22, 2013
why do we have school tomorrow it is the day after MLK was assassinated have some respect you goddamn jerks
— no ? (@hoerrystyles) January 22, 2013
At least her heart’s in the right place.
I didn’t learn one thing from MLK day or catechism.
— Mikayla Kalik (@mikaylakalik) January 22, 2013
Well, one of those things is actually irrelevant.
HULK HONOR MLK WITH DISSATISFACTION IN CONTINUED RACIST HEGEMONY! DON’T RELEGATE KING’S IDEAS TO A HALLMARK CARD ONCE A YEAR–KEEP SMASHING!
— FEMINIST HULK (@feministhulk) January 22, 2013
MLK was 26 when he organized the Montgomery boycott. Don’t tell me you’re too young! Turn off the video games. Team bring it.
— Dean Inserra (@deaninserra) January 22, 2013
— Tiffany (@msflowerstweets) January 22, 2013
Maybe none of you guys are going to geek on the fact that Barack Obama was sworn into his 2nd term on MLK day, but I totally loved it.
— Chane Steiner (@chanesteiner) January 22, 2013
Was just asked if I wanted a chicken dinner to celebrate MLK day. Progress. And hell yes I do.
— Superhero & 00Negro(@MarcusTheToken) January 22, 2013
Never refuse free food, no matter how racist it might be.
wow u claim to be such a big fan of MLK name 2 of his songs
— ~diana~ (@narrythenight) January 22, 2013
Please your man tonight by dressing up as MLK.
— Mae (@mzeld) January 21, 2013
MLK didnt free the slaves dumbass
— Red Forman (@RedFormanParody) January 21, 2013
MLK twerked to achieve his dream so why shouldn’t you?
— Twerkerella (@Twerkerella) January 21, 2013
Thank you MLK idk what I would do if I was forced to date white guys ????????
— Angie Noel (@gANGstuur) January 21, 2013
There were a ton of these, but this one was the funniest.
It’s MLK day and President Obama was inaugurated. We’re living the dream.. twitter.com/ThatDopeBlasia…
— Markell Carrington (@ThatDopeBlasian) January 21, 2013
You’re smoking weed to honor MLK? Lol. I’m sure that’s what he would want.
— Melech (@MelechPO) January 21, 2013
I’m certain MLK would appreciate my plan to spend today laying in bed and eating Doritos.
— Mick Farrell (@StumpWoodley) January 21, 2013
MLK Jr. never even got to play Banjo-Kazooie… I hate assassins
— Löwenäffchen (@Lowenaffchen) January 21, 2013
OK, but that game had fucking save point problems. I think Dr. King is more of a Mass Effect kind of guy.
— Cuffs The Legend (@CuffsTheLegend) January 21, 2013
Happy MLK Day, the stormtroopers still have to work because they’re all white.
— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) January 21, 2013
martin looper king conspiracists speculate mlk was in fact shot by his younger self
— rob (@robwhisman) January 21, 2013
Jesus died for my sins and MLk jr. Died for my black sins… right? or am I mixing something up.
— Davon Magwood (@davonmagwood) January 21, 2013