It was really hard to find the filth this Christmas. It’s taking me forever. Ben went to bed hours ago. Everyone else in the house is asleep. Even Netflix has stopped playing Adventure Time in the next window because it thinks I have died.
Proof the world is a better place, or am I just losing my edge?
Anyway, I’m trying something new this time. Instead of embedding the tweets, which always took forever to load, I’m posting screencaps of them. Let me know what you think.
I see what you did there.
It’s so rare for me to feel like any form of self expression is inappropriate. And yet here we are.
Do you perhaps go by the moniker of “Chinky Santa?
Extremely good question.
Aside from that.
It’s like poetry.
They’re already in church. I think Jesus is maxed out at this point.
Son, Batman may be your boyfriend, but he’s my soulmate. I will fight you.
As you can see, this was posted 7 hours ago. Since then there have been no follow-up tweets re: the blood. Let’s all hope this kid isn’t dead.
Shame on you, autocorrect!
A warrior has to stay on her toes. Even on Christmas.
And to all a good night.
This is the kind of awesome that happens to you when you’re scouring twitter for the best/worst of the season:
And yes, I am quite upset that there weren’t any good dildo tweets this year. Shame on all of us for letting that happen.
Search "fucked in the ass" and 'christmas," and twitter suggests I follow Nintendo of America. Twitter got jokes. #videogames
— Marina Rose Martinez (@Marinaisgo) December 26, 2013