When Did Everyone I Know Become So Well Adjusted?

The morning after Thanksgiving I woke up excited. Not just for leftovers, or the fact that I get Friday off work. I woke up excited for one of my favorite ever holiday traditions: Reading social media for people’s crazy family posts.

I don’t know what it is, maybe the therapy is finally kicking in, maybe your mother in law figured out your twitter name, or maybe you were just too drunk to find your phone, but out of the 221 people that I follow, only one person had an interesting Thanksgiving tweet, and that was my own sweet boyfriend, and it was about me!

I can’t quit you, Turkish oil wrestling.

So, in the spirit of the season, and in order to fulfill my holiday drama needs, I did some extensive searching for the best of the Thanksgiving tweets. Here they are, the fruits of my labor in chronological order, not just for your reading pleasure, but as an example for the kind of good work I expect going forward into Christmas, Chaunnaka, Kwanza, and all other seasonal festivities.

I am unclear as to why you need a squad car to retrieve your unconscious grandma, but it sounds like a fun time anyway.

The Popsicles really made this tweet for me. Other people went into anaphylactic shock and were taken away in ambulances, but none of them seemed quite so cheerful about it.

I’m assuming that the first time happened during the same ordeal, but what if it didn’t? What if this is something they do every year?

I did some digging on this one. She means her best friend is gay, not her boyfriend, which was what I first thought when I read it.

Well, that’s good.

2 comments

  1. Carolyn

    I too was disappointed at my follower’s happy times. Everyone either seemed to have a good time with their family or be grown up enough to decline their crazy relations’ invites & spend it with friends. RUDE. I’m hoping for more from Christmas.

    • marina

      Yeah. If Christmas is a dud, you know I’m making another one of these lists.

      I might make another one anyway, it was really fun. Hell, I might make another one just for fun.