To be honest, I was expecting a little more from this year. My resolution is to find better twitter crazy in 2013

Ate too much Thai food, passed out on couch and farted in my sleep. Woke up to husband and kid screaming at me. 2013 rocks so far.

— Alec Mapa (@AlecMapa) January 2, 2013

I don’t always get thrown out of Buffalo Wild Wings in Valdosta, but when I do, it’s before 7 at night.

— Pete C. (@ShakeNBake87) January 2, 2013

Natalie BEAT Shane last night like literallyattacked him & beat me with a boot…what @natalie_eutsey @shanebeneke

— Julianne (@jm_gibby) January 1, 2013

Best picture of last night hahahahaha #NYE twitter.com/DanWood95/stat…

— Dan(@DanWood95) January 1, 2013

went to my brother’s house in a dress and nice shoes, woke up in a shed in sweatpants.

— Jennifer Lush (@jenniferlush) January 1, 2013

So. My aunt punched my dad’s girlfriend in the face. And then. My dad tried to fight both of my aunts.

— Shaniaaa (@Foxxxxy_Lady) January 1, 2013

I still feel so bad. Omfg sorry @2young2notice for bleeding all over you and breaking you mirror tell you mom i love her and ilysfm ok

— Mikayko (@TheGhostlnside) January 1, 2013

Bleeding like a rape victim all over @cookedlaundry s bed

— Michelle Wallbank (@banksfahdazekid) January 1, 2013

RT if we made out last night…. No really, I need to take a head count…

— NYC Blonde (@NYC_Blonde) January 1, 2013

Get it? She’s a megaslut.

I had a dream last night that you died and it mad me realize how much I love you, I love you Lola you’re an amazing dog and friend ????

— Roland (@roland_padilla) January 1, 2013

That is not where I thought that was going.

RT if you also woke up looking like a dead hooker

— oliviarhiannon (@olivia_rhiannon) January 1, 2013

Fav if you are a dead hooker… no really, I need to take a headcount.

My ex sent me this last night. Like, are you being for realz right now?! ????? twitter.com/classycouturex…

— Classy Couture(@classycouturexo) January 1, 2013

The girl who took a photo of herself being fingered by a blow up doll in The Duke Dirty Photo Booth last night. Bravo. You are our new hero.

— SMACK LEAMINGTON (@SMACKLEAMINGTON) January 1, 2013

Last night was mad real. twitpic.com/brkv22 twitpic.com/brkv1i

— B A C O N(@FLSColours) January 1, 2013

Just woke up at Hoyt farm wtf?? Can someone get me??

— billy kopsky (@Bkops09) January 1, 2013

Punch me in the man cunt so I know 2013 is real.

— FUCK YOU 2013 (@kevnasto) January 1, 2013

My lip is bleeding and theres whipped cream all over my face #Help

— Ethel Piantedosi (@EthelPiantedosi) December 31, 2012