Category: Tutorial

Riker Love

Thursday night Ben and I were sitting around trying to think of an appropriate couples costume for a party on Saturday. I was a dinosaur two years ago and I still have the costume, so I suggested we go as Dino and cave lady concubine from this series of dinosaur erotica the Internet has been talking about lately, but Ben said that he didn’t want to be the lady. I was pretty set on him being the lady since that’s the best part of the whole deal.

So, we compromised and decided to both be Riker. Since I have no beard, I would be season one Riker…

and Ben would be Season 7 Riker

Low on funds and with only 1 day to put everything together, I went to Michael’s and bought two black shirts, silver and gold construction paper, a sheet of yellow foam, three bottles of red shirt paint, and a sparkly red topcoat.


I taped off the shirt in an approximation of the design of the season one uniform.





Then I painted about three coats, drying each with a blow dryer afterwards to bypass the 4 hour drying time. I did the same for Ben’s shirt, which is actually a Deep Space Nine uniform style since the season seven uniforms aren’t actually that different from season one, and we needed more variation in our Rikerness. Also, because I miscalculated on his shirt and started painting where I shouldn’t have.


Then I freehand drew and cut the Starfleet communicator insignia and glued it onto the foam for stability.


After that, I glued the insignias into the shirts and left them to set under books for the night to make sure that they had enough time to dry.



Ta Dah! I tried to draw a chin dimple, but I don’t think it was very obvious.

On the Jake and Jessica front: You my have noticed that there are two themes tied for first place. I’ll be flipping a coin to decide which one wins.

Hickey Cover-Up Tutorial

A picture of me with my hickey covered with make-up.

Like any warm-blooded American woman, I appreciate a good hickey. The only problem is, not being 17, there’s no way I can go outside my house with one stamped on my neck like a damn blue-ribbon on a state fair pig. So, I cover them up with make-up.

I thought I’d make a little tutorial for all you inquiring readers. As you can see in the picture above, this isn’t perfect. Any fool can tell that there’s something on my neck. Thankfully, other people are never paying as much attention to us as we think they are. So unless you’re trying this trick on a lover, a dance partner, or someone who knows what they’re looking for, it should work out just fine.

Step 1: Get a Hickey.
If you’re reading this, I’m going to go on and assume that you have already completed this task.
Hickey with no make-up on it

Step 2: Assemble your supplies.
I use Maybelline because it was on sale the day I bought these, although I have been told it’s a good product, and it’s worked well for me thus far. It doesn’t clump or cake and it settles well on the skin.

You’re going to need a green corrector-concealer stick, a cream concealer, a matte power and a kabuki brush. Only use a shimmer power if you already use a shimmer power on your face and neck or your hickey area will be highlighted in glitter.
Maybelline green concealer stick, concealer, matte power and kabuki brush

Step 3: Color correct.
Draw over the darkest purples of the hickey with the corrector stick. No need to be arty, just cover the purple. Dab your finger over the area to soften the edges.
Hickey with purple bits covered in green corrector-concealer marks
Now we’re ready for the cream concealer.
we're ready to apply cream concealer

Step 4: Conceal
Dab your finger in the cream concealer pot to get some color on it, then dab gingerly onto your neck over the green corrector. Fade the concealer out past the edges of the hickey in order to blend it in with your natural skin.
Finger dabbing cream concealer over green corrector

Steps 5-? Repeate repeate repeate repeate.
Rather than draw on the following layers of corrector stick, dab gently onto the areas where purple still shows through.
dabbing the corrector stick gently onto the purple areas
Then soften the edges with your finger
finger dabbing the edges
Re-apply concealer. Remember to blend it in with your natural skin.
finger in concealer pot
Repeat multiple times until your skin takes on as uniform a tone as you can get. This is a very tedious process. Only dab on the make-up or it will start to cake and clump, which will draw attention to your neck, and that is the opposite effect we’re going for.
putting make-up on in the mirror

Step the Last: Finishing
Eventually, you get it as good as you can, or you get tired of sitting in front of the mirror futzing around while your neck gets stiff. Your skin should appear as close to the same color as humanly possible
close-up of a hickey almost entirely concealed by make-up
Take your kabuki brush and circle it gently around in your matte powder
kabuki brush in matte powder
Using the same motion on your neck, lightly apply the powder over the concealer. Apply power past the concealer, blending it in with the surrounding skin.
lightly brushing the power over the concealer, using a circular motion

In low light or fluorescent light, it should look like just another shadow.
Picture of me in low light with the hickey concealed

You will want to re-apply powder throughout the day to maintain the effectiveness of the concealer.

Now that you know how to cover a hickey, let me include a small word about production. In order for the hickey to show up on the camera, it had to be pretty dark, so the purple bits in the picture are actually almost black in real life. We tried a million tricks to make Ben’s camera pick up the color more accurately, but it didn’t. Because this is such a bad one, the make-up can only do so much. With normal hickeys, or small love bites, the concealer works almost totally.

In my office, which is where I feel like the make-up is most important, everybody is so busy putting out their own fires that they hardly look up from their phones. The only times I get comments is when we go out to lunch (direct sunlight is a cover-ups worst enemy) or from my co-workers who are also my friends and know I employ this trick fairly often. (What can I say, my life is amazing!)

If you have an exceptionally perceptive boss, or you work in close quarters with someone, you may want to add a scarf or a high collar to finish the look. Keep in mind that you will be getting make-up on it, so wear something machine-washable if you don’t want to incur the dry-cleaning bill.