Category: Design

Portland’s Mad Dildoer

It seems like the world has finally caught up to what we Portlanders have known to be true for months now. Our awesome city has been gifted with a mystical dildo fairy who I choose to call The Mad Dildoer. I’ve been keeping abreast of the situation on my personal twitter for some time.

I, for one welcome our new dildo overlords. So much so that I made them a thing:


This is free to use by any dildo fans.

Anybody who is not a fan of the dildecorations is obviously just jealous.

Sperm Amigurumi

I crocheted a sperm. I have no idea what to do with it.


I was trying to crochet a doll. I made its head, was working on its neck and thought “can I make this a sperm?” And I could. So I did.

#FreeDesign Hour

I had two takers, who’s work I produced in an hour and a half.





Free design hour wasn’t without it’s mishaps, both technical

and creative

But I think it was very good. The purpose was for me to try out my new ArtFlow app. I like it much better than Autodesk SketchBook Pro, which I had been using. My only complaint is that it’s either really difficult or completely impossible to import images into ArtFlow. So that sucks. But otherwise, it’s easy to use and doesn’t have the massive and shitty exporting problems that SketchBook recently developed.

Half of Design is Taking Out the Cum

They say that half of design is taking out the dicks and the swastikas. Anybody who works for milk, or milk-like products should add cum to that prestigious industry filter.

Friend Chief found this amazing, cumtastic piece of milk promotion.

Let’s break it down:

The face you make when you know it’s about to hit your back:


The face you make when you remember that you forgot you kind of like it when it hits your back:


When you haven’t been able to find any “alone time” recently: (Or so I hear)


When you have a supportive, loving friend group:


When you just cant seem to get it off your hand:


That feeling of anticipation:


That ends in disappointment:


And finally, if we didn’t already get it, the logo is like two little dicks, coming at each other from opposite sides of the space:


Fortunately, Milk Life (with dicks) isn’t the first campaign to make this rather creepy analogy. Silk’s bukake version is even worse. Much worse.

An Argument For Cop Cams


Share this image. Cop cams can’t prevent all police brutality, but cities where they’ve been instituted show marked improvement. And not just for the people. Good cops will have back-up when hit with unfounded accusations of abuse. The only population that stands to lose with cop cameras are criminals. On both sides.


Editor’s note: Some other news sources are reporting a solid 60%. The difference is .009 verses .01, so it’s not that big of a deal, but I wanted to be as accurate as possible.

Oh Shit, It’s Already Friday

On the one hand, I’m so happy to be back in a position where Friday happens and instead of relief or, more lately, shame at how little got done, I feel disappointment that it’s come so fast. I told you guys I’d write a Jake and Jessica this week, but that was before I knew what kind of week I was going to have.

Sorry for no fiction, but here is a photo of my test print block from last night.


I haven’t had the chance to print on it yet, but hopefully that’ll happen this weekend.