Fuck This Day

So you guys know Rhi died on Sunday, and as a result I got basically no sleep Sunday night. Even though there were a lot of people much closer to her than I was, of the people who I have known that died, she is the closest one to me.

Monday morning I needed something a little more detrimental to my health than my usual coffee, so I reached for a 24 ounce can of Rockstar that we had leftover from our 20 hour straight shot road trip home from Oregon. All day at work I felt like a marionette. People would talk to me, my eyes were (painfully) open, I could basically hear them, but I was only processing about 20% of anything they were trying to tell me. Thankfully, everybody knew my friend had died and kindly allowed me to drool into my keyboard unmolested for a majority of the day. That rockstar is no joke. At some point, I told Ben this was probably as close as I would ever get to being high at work.

He was like

and I was.

That night we were exhausted (I woke Ben up multiple times with my bullshit). So we ordered Chinese, I set the original Monday post to go Tuesday morning with my addendum, and we actually got some pretty good sleep. But, it wasn’t enough. I woke up grumpy and hungry (damn you Chinese food!) so basically back to normal, but I’ve been just a little bit off all day today. I started two different posts before this one which are still sitting in drafts waiting for their time to shine, although both of them need work. The first requires a field trip, and the second seemed like it was going to be today’s post until the very last minute when everything went to shit and I wanted to fucking murderize this entire craphole planet.

So I made this parody video that took for fucking ever to export, then it had fucking timing issues, so I fixed it, but it was the end of the day and I had to be at dinner at my friends house (if you recall, Tuesday is typically the longest day of my week) and was going to try to set the encoding of the fixed video to run through while I was driving over there, except that my laptop kept falling asleep and stopping the process. Then it did a weird thing, so I hard restarted, at which point it decided to load Adobe Encoder on the nonexistant second monitor, from which I could not fucking remember how to retrieve it (ALT+SPACE+M+ARROW in case you were wondering). Which is when I finally gave up, realized I was hunched over in my running car in the work parking lot cursing at my laptop in the passenger seat like a crazy. I figured I could just deal with the encode later, after I got home from my meeting, so I left.

But that didn’t work out. As soon as I parked the car, I saw that the original, broken video that I’d uploaded to a private link so only Ben could see it had been blocked for copyright violations. Which is fucking stupid because it’s fucking parody. Besides, how much copyright violation do you think is happening on a video that only has permission to be viewed by ONE OTHER HUMAN ON THE FUCKING STUPID PLANET. It’s the digital equivalent of calling someone over to your computer to watch something, you jerks.

I was on the phone trying to fix it up until the last possible rudeness second before dinner was served, then I was checking it after dinner and before my meeting. I texted and IMed Ben to see if he could fix it. I mostly rambled about the issue hoping he’d be quick to respond, but I had to go to the meeting, which is 1. in a basement with no reception and 2. the only place I turn my phone off. At the break, I ran upstairs, turned my phone back on and paced back and forth in the cold waiting to see if he’d texted or IMed me back. I got one text:

“I love you”

Having no answers, I turned my phone off and stalked back to the meeting in a funk. Afterwards one lady who was visiting from another city asked me if I crocheted to relax.

Me: “Yeah, also to give me something to do or I fidget.”
Her: “I thought it was funny, I’ve never seen someone crochet with as much force or determination before. I thought to myself ‘I wonder if she thinks she’s relaxing?'”

The yarn speaks to me. It says “violent explosion of frustration and rage. Or a hat. A hat is cool too.”

Anyway, you’ll be glad to know that as soon as I got home I appealed the ban under fair use/parody, which is great since that’s not even the final, but a shitty draft with timing issues because I’m a fucking genius. Whatever. When I got here Ben was like “Why don’t you just host it on your domain?” Oh yeaaah… that thing I just paid out the asshole for “unlimited storage” on. Good thing I figured this out right at midnight. It’s not like I have a headache, a cough and I have to be awake again in 6 short hours.