In the last month, I have conceived of, and partially executed the creation of two organizations other than my own personal brand.
Both of them seem to be getting more attention than my “real” work.
The question then becomes, do I split my time between the three, or do I decide to cut one loose? At this point, the only one earning money is my real brand, but that’s because I’ve only been putting a couple hours a week into the other two.
It’s scary, to move away from what I consider to be legitimate work in order to pursue something that looks and feels a lot like fun. Also, something I don’t have the kind of extensive professional background with that I have with marketing.
It’s especially scary when I look at November and realize that, despite the fact that I have a lot of contract proposals in the wind, I have no real idea where money’s coming from this month.
Maybe it’s the allure of a new direction. One that has yet to prove itself as difficult and dramatic as the one I’ve been heading in. Maybe it’s a legitimate market that I am just too fucking egotistical to recognize is a superior fit than the market I initially picked.
On the one hand, is this a lack of perseverance on my part? On the other hand, how long do I do something that drains me and seems to deliver scant rewards? On the other other hand, am I just being shitty because I’m tired and none of my proposals have landed?
I was reading through old blogs trying to remember why I do this. Somebody emailed me with a job that would be full time and reading the description all I could think was that two years ago this would have been a dream job. Now I can hardly imagine something more boring.
I wanted to be the captain of my own ship. And now I am. So this is what that looks like.
The logical solution is to move towards the things that are getting the most bites, and maintain at least a good level of interest in the rest in case it picks up, or for when it picks up.
Those old posts helped to give me some direction. If I feel like I’ve been floundering, it’s because I got too caught up in the niggly little details of everyday life. Making calls, writing up proposals, every tiny little daily struggle that kept me from seeing the forest for the trees.
I have enough money to make it through November even if none of the contracts land. If I have to work a boring, shitty job I will, but not yet. Right now, I have three distinct directions I could go, and I’m not going to walk away just because it’s difficult or exhausting. That’s the last reason to quit something.