Friend Tiffany asked me this the other day:
Okay so I’ve been meaning to ask you to do a blog post about this for some time, but I swear last night I dreamed about asking you, so I figured now was as good a time as any.
so – the Maury show. specifically the “I’m 11-14 and have sex with 30 dudes who range from their 20s-30s!” and the insane society we have that says these GIRLS are the horrible ones for not being “under control” when it’s clear to most people that yeah, no, this is statutory rape.
So yeah, I’d love to see a blog post on that, in case you needed any more ideas.
My first thought when she asked this was “is Maury still on the air?” The answer us yes, and apparently he hasn’t changed much. Episode titles include
I Slept With 2 Men Named Antonio…Who Fathered Antonio Jr.?
DNA Test Me for Those Twins…One of Them Is Not Mine!
You Got Me Pregnant at 15…I’ll Prove You’re the Dad!
I’m Testing 7 Men…Are Any of Them My Babies Dad?
and my personal favorite…
My Family Betrayed Me on Maury…Updates
I love that one because it proves, possibly more than any of the others, what a colossal failure our education system has become. Does no one teach the fundamental principal of “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?” Because if my family betrayed me somewhere, I wouldn’t be too keen to go back there. My mom had a screaming fit in a Red Lobster in Arcadia. I don’t go there anymore. Not just because Red Lobster is gross. Although a person can’t mention the R-Lobs without a shout out to those cheddar bay biscuits. Those shits are amazing.
By which I mean that the biscuits are delicious, not that the shits they give you are great. They do give you the shits, I don’t consider them a good thing.
Anyway, the way that we manage to give women all the consequences, but none of the ownership of their sexual expression is total cock. Teen girls are admonished for expressing themselves sexually, even as they are sexualized. We institute consent ages in order to prosecute adults to take advantage of young people, but we shame girls when we find out they’re a victim, even as we cheer boys in the same situations.
The Maury Show is a weird circus where real life definitely takes a break. But female promiscuity and a general lack of manners or decorum is definitely a theme. It’s basically the real house wives of [insert city here] for an even poorer class of people than the housewives are for. It’s both a lower limit and a de-organizing tactic. You can still believe you’re not in the least privileged class in America because at least your children have a father. Or at least they know who their father is. Or at least you know who their father was. You don’t need solidarity with those Maury people. Yeah, you get food stamps, or you are unemployed, but you’re not that unemployed. If you know what I mean, and I know that you do.
Daytime television is the most stratifying shit on this planet, and it should be set on fire. It’s either white women and their pets of color talking about table linens, or it’s America’s poor in a three ring ratchet circus while Maury snaps the whip. No one should watch television between the hours of 10 am and 6 pm. If you ask me, no one should watch live television ever for any reason, but I understand not everybody can afford eight dollars a month for Netflix streaming.