Your bank was dumb, I’m glad I left


Five years ago, I switched to a credit union. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

I was originally a Washington Mutual customer, and I loved it there. I frequently wondered what I’d ever do if WaMu folded since all my friends seemed to have such consistently horrible service from their banks. So when Chase took over, I wasn’t really surprised when it seemed like they were only into fucking every one of us with a huge, ungreased dog dick.

The last straw came when they changed their check deposit policy and didn’t tell me until after I’d deposited a check into my account. At the time, I had to pay my rent with a money order, and since the check hold went from no time to three days, they ensured that my rent would be late.

Looking back, what I should have done is payed the rent with a personal check, and hoped for the best. That apartment management company was so severely fucked, I bet they wouldn’t have noticed. Or they would have charged me for late payment, which is what happened anyway.

Instead, I tried to get the bank manager to fix it, seeing as how I had been a loyal customer for many years, hadn’t overdrawn in years, and never for long even when I had overdrawn as a teenager. The manager told me he’d fix everything the next day, shooed me out of his store and then refused to answer any of my calls when nothing was fixed when he said it would be. I called every hour. I was so pissed. I probably would have driven over to bitch him out in person, except that I took the train to work at that time, and by the time I got back to my branch, it would have been closed.

That was the day I took my lunch hour to go to the Chase next to my work and close my account. I then went to my work’s credit union, opened a checking account, applied for a signatory loan, and the rest is history.

People are nice to me at the credit union. After I paid off that signatory loan, they gave me a line of credit built into my account so I never overdraw. If I pay my car loan on time, they give me December off. When I was going into the bank regularly, they knew my name. I am extremely happy with my bank, and it’s all thanks to Chase. If they hadn’t been such unmitigated shit-bags, and delivered some of the worst customer service I’ve ever experienced (the manager was only the last in a long line of extremely unpleasant straws), I would never know what it is to be truly happy with my financial institution. Even my beloved WaMu (may she rest in peace) couldn’t have hoped to be so awesome.

So thank you, Chase, for sucking so very much. You receive zero stars.