Tomorrow will mark a year of me blogging M-F. I have to say I feel like 2012 was one of the most professionally and personally fulfilling years I’ve had since college, and it’s in no small part thanks to this blog. I wasn’t sure what I was doing when I started posting every weekday, an uncertainty I addressed multiple times since I started (examples here, here, and here ) but as the months moved on, I began to see what I like about my life, what I need to work on, and what I want in my future.
This blog is so great because I can do whatever I want here. It was amazing to be able to think “I want to replace all the n words in a hip hop song with kittens” and then I did it, and it was awesome. You guys didn’t seem that enthused, but whatever. That’s, like, my favorite thing right now.
I’ve always had a theory that I had good instincts, that I could make things people liked. So far my experience in life has proven me at least partially right. Yeah, there’s been some shiiiitttt, and there will continue to be, but having this place where I can let go of the worry that comes with working in exchange for something (grades, money, sex…) has helped me find my voice. I’ve obviously still got a lot of work to do, but I’m seeing the shape of it more clear than ever now. I think I’ll always be working towards something. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that I already have everything I ever wanted… from
five ten years ago. Now I want something different. It’s not so much that I’m a failure for not having the life I want, I’m just an old success. And old successes need to be built on.
I’ve been having a lot of mood swings lately. I go from really stressed out to hopeful and excited and exhausted in the course of a day. I’m tired. This blog takes up most of my free time, and the rest of it is spent trying to get those extracurricular revenue streams I’ve been talking about up and running. But I’m not going to stop. I feel a momentum I didn’t have this time last year, and it’s exactly what I was looking for. Every day used to look the same for me, yeah I’m exhausted now, but that’s because things are happening again.
You may have noticed that I changed the tagline from “Blogging 5 days a week for the sheer, crazy fuck of it” to “I do what I want.” That’s because I’m not blogging for the fuck of it anymore. I know what my goals are, and I’m going to get them. Here’s to another great year, you guys!
Oh, and by the way, Monday’s post will go up in the morning like usual, but all the real action will take place in the evening because at 7:30 p.m. PST, I am having a Die Hard 1 viewing party, which I will be live-blogging. So far, I have no attendees (even Ben, who fucking lives here has not responded to the invite) but I’m kicking this shit off guests or no guests. I hope at least to have Google Hangout figured out by then. Of course, I won’t be showing you the movie. The camera will stay focused on my fat fun-loving face for copyright reasons. Feel free to break out your own copy of Die Hard and watch along, though. Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday will be movies two through four respectively. After we watch four at my house, we’ll go to the theater for five.
When I say die hard is my favorite movie, I don’t play.