Ok people, far be it from me to try to tell others how to conduct their lives. I’ve got my own flaws, many of which I probably don’t even know about. But I’m making a short checklist for those that come behind me that they might not wrecklist themselves in the process of their opining.
Signs you may be talking out of your ass:
- You’ve never paid your own rent
- You’ve never had worried about your ability to feed yourself or keep the lights on
- You currently don’t pay your rent
- You have no experience with, and have done no research on the thing you’re talking about
- Especially if you have no experience
- You’re currently running for political office, reading a speech someone else wrote you on a topic your demographics person says you should care about.
- You believe in God and (very important and) you think you know better than anybody else how he feels about things
- You’re using absolute statements like “always,” “never,” or “completely”
- You are under the age of 25
- What you’re saying makes you feel better about being yourself because it makes someone else look dumb/bad
- You use the word “literally’ and it’s actually the complete opposite of literal
- The only criticism you have of someone else’s argument is that their grammar is incorrect.
- You’re on Television
- You’re writing a self-help book
- You are eagerly explaining something you just read in a self-help book
- You believe in “The Secret”
- You live with your parents.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule: statistical outliers who defy definition. Even if you hit some of the qualities listed above, you may be one such exception just because you read this blog. I happen to know that the vast majority of my readers are attractive, intelligent go-getters. Truly, you are the winners of the blog reading public. And I don’t just say this because I know so many of you personally. It is scientific fact.