Reasons You Might Not Know What You’re Talking About

Ok people, far be it from me to try to tell others how to conduct their lives. I’ve got my own flaws, many of which I probably don’t even know about. But I’m making a short checklist for those that come behind me that they might not wrecklist themselves in the process of their opining.

Signs you may be talking out of your ass:

  • You’ve never paid your own rent
  • You’ve never had worried about your ability to feed yourself or keep the lights on
  • You currently don’t pay your rent
  • You have no experience with, and have done no research on the thing you’re talking about
  • Especially if you have no experience
  • You’re currently running for political office, reading a speech someone else wrote you on a topic your demographics person says you should care about.
  • You believe in God and (very important and) you think you know better than anybody else how he feels about things
  • You’re using absolute statements like “always,” “never,” or “completely”
  • You are under the age of 25
  • What you’re saying makes you feel better about being yourself because it makes someone else look dumb/bad
  • You use the word “literally’ and it’s actually the complete opposite of literal
  • The only criticism you have of someone else’s argument is that their grammar is incorrect.
  • You’re on Television
  • You’re writing a self-help book
  • You are eagerly explaining something you just read in a self-help book
  • You believe in “The Secret”
  • You live with your parents.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule: statistical outliers who defy definition. Even if you hit some of the qualities listed above, you may be one such exception just because you read this blog. I happen to know that the vast majority of my readers are attractive, intelligent go-getters. Truly, you are the winners of the blog reading public. And I don’t just say this because I know so many of you personally. It is scientific fact.

This comic from The Oatmeal, who is great