That Startup Life
Q: What have you learned from your start-up? Since I don’t have any venture capitol, and I don’t have any intention to get venture capitol,...
Category: Writing
Backstrom, I Love You
I fucking love this show. If only for the shit he says. You really need to watch it for some of the most catty shade...
5 Sex Positive Creators on Patreon
Thank you so much everyone who became a patron, participated, or shared my links yesterday for my Patreon launch campaign. I wrote five extra posts,...
I Would if I Could
In honor of my Patreon launch, I’ll be posting every three hours today starting at 8am PST. Look at what friend Ann got us at...
How to Fail
In honor of my Patreon launch, I’ll be posting every three hours today starting at 8am PST. “We’ve actually never had something good happen to...
100% Pure Quality Urine
True fact: A company called Byrd Laboratories used to sell urine by the bag. It was $49.96 a bag in 1986. Byrd Labs was founded...
Thunder Lizard Returns
In honor of my Patreon launch, I’ll be posting every three hours today starting at 8am PST. In case you hadn’t heard, it turns out...
What’s a Little Tooth Between You and a Friend?
In honor of my Patreon launch, I’ll be posting every three hours starting right now, at 8am PST. Remember that time I was cleaning out...
Riding an Escalator into an Avalanche
So, you want to own your own business. You think it would be “cool” to “be your own boss.” Here’s a thought experiment for those...
First trip to Seattle
Today, we went to Seattle. We left at 8 am and we got back home at 1:30 am. Ben and I had to swich driving...
The Eternal Question
Happy April Fools’ Day! This year, I decided to make a splash page to honor this month’s third most-popular search term that leads people to...
I’m not your follow back girl
Today, this happened. Mid-rant, I compare rough sex to spicy food, and get an auto-fave from some poor person’s restaurant account. This is why it’s...
Vacation Day
I realized the other day that I’ve done some kind of work every single day for as far back as I can remember. The only...
McDonald’s, Stahp
If you’ve read a book on branding lately (I mean, who hasn’t?) you’ll notice that they probably have McDonald’s listed as the “DON’T” example. Unlike...
The Joy of Storytelling with Justin Lazaro
I know you guys like it when I interview authors, especially those who are new to the market, so today I have newly self-published writer...
The Perfect House
It’s been over a year since we moved to Portland, and the housing market is hot right now. A lot of Portland developers like to...
What Should I Blog About?
So you’re suffering from writer’s block. I am here to help. And none of those shit “talk about your first kiss” topics everybody always suggests....
Female Ambition
I am so fucking tired of people mentioning how shit it is that high-achieving women are bitches in the same situations where high-achieving men are...
2:55 AM
I am about to puke.
If God Actually Loved You, He Wouldn’t Have Made You So Ugly
This goofy looking weirdo wants a new jet. And you know what he’s doing to acquire it? He’s asking for his ministry to provide it...
How to Headbutt
I’ve been watching a lot of UK Shameless, and they headbutt each other a lot in that show. But it always looks like they’re doing...
Interview with Ethan St. Pierre on #WeJustNeedtoPee
Transman and long-time activist Ethan St. Pierre started lobbying Congress in 1995 on behalf of transgender hate crime victims and survivors after his aunt was...
12:15 a.m.
I’m too tired to write anything. I accidently ate breakfast at 3 p.m. My elbow hurts for no reason. Here is a picture of my...
I’m Not a Model
Persian in the streets, sphinx in the sheets.
Why You Need to be Watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Do you ever think to yourself, “this show is okay, but why is everybody so not a giant gay black guy or a Korean immigrant,...
Itinerary
*Changes are in red THURSDAY 8:30 a.m. – Wake up 9:30 a.m. – Conference call 10:00 a.m. – Draft deadline 11:00 a.m. – Sneak breakfast...
Unveiling My Brownness
Today my friend Heina and I traded blog posts. You can find their regular blog at www.freethoughtblogs.com/heinous where they write about race, gender, being an...
Instalife
In case you missed my amazing instagram posts.
The time my dentist thought Ben was abusing me
When we lived in LA, I went to a very nice dentist. She was a gentle, kind soul. The type of person who felt genuinely...
It’s Superlogical
In the span of a single weekend, Ben and I have become hopelessly addicted to the show Criminal Minds. Although they just did an episode...
5 Movies You Need to Netflix Before They’re Gone
Netflix has announced that it will be kicking some solid gold gems out of their Instant streaming on March 1, so you need to get...
So Long, Stinkcity!
One year ago today (or yesterday, from where you’re sitting) we left Los Angeles for Portland, Oregon: city of opportunity, land of dreams, way better...
Fun with Tags
Today I spent nearly every hour of my non-work day making tags for my erotica section. All so that you, dear reader, can bask in...
Jake and Jessica – Sweet Brothings – NSFW
Chapter 6 – Sweet Brothings – NSFW Chapter 1 – The Annihilator (NSFW -Explicit sex) Chapter 2 – The Annihilator is Dead Chapter 3 – It...
Foundation Music
That time we were packing and I found all my tapes from high school… From the top left corner Row 1: Tom Petty; The...
Cry Me a River
One time my therapist, not coincidentally the one I ended up firing for being crazy, told me that she didn’t understand why I made my...
Why I Don’t Smoke Weed
Mota, the skunk of my people has recently been made legal here in my beloved home state of Oregon. And while I wholeheartedly support the...
Unfuck Your Otter Box
The only Otter Box color they had for sale in the T-Mobile store when I bought my phone was black. And I have a policy...
Our Flow Charts Need Flow Charts
Our trip to the accountant this year was way less bad than last year. She’s not done with me yet, so I may still get...
2 Day Headache
I have had a headache for two days, so this answer will in no way do justice to this question, which taps into a vast...
There’s No Such Thing as an Original Steve Jobs
I enjoy tie dye, but only in theory. In practice it looks stupid on me. Unfortunate. People spend too much time worrying about originality. There...
Poverty in Childhood Dictates Pants Purchases
I agree with most of this, but I’d say that being poor ultimately made me a far better financial planner. I used to shop with...
Fuck Legacy
Oh man, I can’t remember if you wrote this before or after the dog thing, but this is at least a tiny bit relevant to...
Real Support Doesn’t Come in Bumper Sticker Form
My least favorite neighbor decided to start doing laundry at the ass crack of 6 a.m. this morning, which wouldn’t be such a problem if...
What’s the Deal with Periods?
I have endometriosis, which means that I have really painful periods. I take birth control, and that mostly takes care of it, but periods are...
If You See My Mother: An Open Letter to Kate Bornstein
I started writing this just after I finished Queer and Present Danger, Kate Bornstein’s compelling, funny, fascinating and wonderful autobiography. So it’s a little bit...
Free-Range Organic, First of the Season Hipster Haircuts
Oh My God It’s uncanny. But the sad truth is that every hipster in Portland has this hair and these glasses right now. Not to...
From Panhandling to Panty Handling
PANHANDLING AND/OR HITCHHIKING I only panhandled one time. I was getting low on gas, and I had no money, so I made a sign that...
How to Get Fucked
Everybody loves to fuck (asexuals excepted, of course). Nobody loves getting fucked. Or at least we don’t talk about it if we do. We live...
Are You Happy Now Ben Bateman
Fine. I do say that I’ll always answer any blog request. Preparing yourself to visit the tax person is excruciating and I hate it. For...