On Being a Mexican in Donald Trump’s America
Some people will say Mexicans are descended from kings and queens. That this is the reason we belong on this land. I disagree. The kings...
Category: Commentary
Wherein I Nicely Explain That Tina Fey Cake Skit and Why I, A Person of Color, am Mad About It
White friends, I love you. I also love Tina Fey. However I have issues with her hilarious cake skit, and here’s what they are: 1....
How Do I Say This Delicately: Random POC Don’t Want Your White Kids, OK?
Despite being barren and having no nearby mom friends, I have still seen the paranoid delusional posts about suburban moms being afraid of mysterious foreign...
Make The Thing
Do you realize that you are unique? Not all that bullshit about the probability of this human and that human and whichever charming neanderthals got...
Is the Fast and the Furious Just Latinx Crack?
Friend Josh told me that there’s a rumor going around that Latinx audiences are the reason for the massive and unprecedented success of the Fast...
Why I Am Yelling: A Brief Synopsis
Because the wolf is no longer at the gate. He closed the gate. On us. In here. With him. And you don’t seem to feel...
“There will be a time when we must choose between what is right and what is easy”
-Albus Dumbledore A lot of people are really excited for 2016 to be over. They think the year is the problem. I am sorry to...
Drinking Hate for Breakfast: A Liberal Welcomes President Trump
So that happened. And my timelines are filled with good, smart, strong people utterly shocked that their country hates them. That in 2016 a candidate...
How To Be A Liberal When There Is No God
I feel like I’ve been inundated with images of racist, classist victories. One scroll through my timeline and I see police in riot gear hitting...
Stop Telling People to Call Their Parents.
I found this on a blog post called “How Not to Be a Garbage Human” and there’s no way I’m linking to that trash. Also...
How to be a #NastyWoman
Tell people about yourself. Specifically how great you are. Fashion don’t? More like Fashion don’t give a fuck what you shitlords think. Fuck. However you...
Republicans Only Care About Women They Own
For everybody asking why the Republican party only speaks out against Trump when he denigrates white women, I have the answer. These conservatives are only appalled...
Trump Dildo
Hey bros. Cool new thing. It’s called Trump Dildo and you should get onto it dudes. Regular Trump is boring. Also he is lame. ...
The Logical, Educated Argument for Replacing Every Picture of Donald Trump with this Dildo in Trump Hair
This is for all y’all Democrats because I know you love this cerebral wordy college shit. Michael Moore has said he believes only satire can...
Important reminder about the Hillary/Trump fight
We are too busy fighting over who is the Hitler (race-bating Trump or election-fixing Hilary). We are missing the fact that this is (hopefully) the culmination of a...
To the Young, Oppressed American, Whomever You May Be
There’s a universal truth that nobody wants to look at, despite the fact that it is probably the most pervasive reality on earth. Some parents...
Stop Saying “People Pleaser” Like It’s a Good Thing
That’s not being “too nice” that’s people pleasing and codependency. Codependents aren’t nice out of the kindness of our broken, black little hearts. We’re nice...
More Like Lakefront Socially Constructed Gender Binary Hunt
I’ve been unreasonably obsessed with house buying shows lately and they’re giving me fucking heart palpitations, over how dumb they are, but also over some...
Just Wedding Things
Friend Ruby found this modern bridal meditation on the true cost of perfectionism the other day and shared it with me, proto-bride. My initial reaction...
I am the ladies room
I haven’t had the time, or frankly the emotional fortitude to read all this anti trans toilet law bullshit. But is there something in there...
Smart Answers to Stupid Questions People Still Ask Me About My Mother
Most of us who have separated ourselves from the narcissistic, emotionally manipulative and abusive people in our lives have been asked some really dumb questions...
Food Diary
So I guess you’ve heard. Hot young lady founders of trendy up-and-coming companies have started posting their food diaries for the likes of Elle, and...
A Sentance Caps Rebuttal to Your Blind Hillary Love
So, this ALL CAPS pro-Hillary rant has been making the rounds, and I have to say, there are some good points re: the misogyny that...
Littering and…
David Bowie
There are so many people writing about Bowie. How could you not? Like every freak since 1969, I had a David Bowie album. I had...
A Brief But Passionate Note on Your Basic Human Value
I want to say something about authenticity, and I’ll probably say it wrong; but I don’t have time for perfect people. Frequently, I feel like...
One of these things is an illegal narcotic in Portland, Ore.
Platinum GSC in HD #nofilter #OMMP #KeepWondering #Oregon #PDX #WeedLoveToHelp #WeedCanHelp #Weedstagram #Pot #Marijuana #Cannabis #MaryJane #710 #Dabs #DabbersDaily #Dab #BHO #OnlySmokeTheFinest #IWillMarryMary #420 #WeShouldSmoke...
America: Where We Show Our Support with Racism!
There’s a tragic sort of kismit in the fact that senseless bigots go on a mass murder spree in France and a certain number of...
Fuck Your Digital Phobia
Why don’t we all put our phones down and look at our children. Stare at them. Look deep into their tiny child eyes and just...
What It Means to Have a Plan
I think I have to finally admit that I have been sick. Halloween wrecked me, there’s something wrong with my back, and yesterday somebody on...
How to Live in Portland
Maybe it’s not my place to advise on this, being a recent transplant. I mean, I’m basically the whole reason ‘Old Portland’ is dead. Remember...
Your Site Rhymes with Kelp and You Suck
UPDATE: Apparently Kelp isn’t suing anybody over that TV show episode. But they still suck. And I did tell you that the blog might be...
Ten (More) Dead in (Yet Another) Mass Shooting
JUST Source ANOTHER Source DAY Source IN Source AMERICA Source Dramatic, I know, but one does begin to wonder if this is who we are...
I Love Being Ugly
Nor should there be any reason for low-class trifling hoes, and yet here you are. I liked Tyra Sanchez because she was the perfect combination...
Is Anybody Else Tired of Getting Fucked With?
Republicans are threatening to shut down the government. Again. Over healthcare. Again. (Some info on the last time this happened, if you forgot.) This time,...
What is School For?
Yesterday I shared some tips for those unfortunate souls who might find themselves entering into our fine public education system. Today, I’m going to talk...
Out of the Ordinary: How to Survive the American Education System
Advice for weirdos, geniuses, and everyone else who falls through the cracks. I’ve talked a little about my terrible high school experience. I was never...
Hipster on Hipster Violence
Ian Hespelt, an attendee at infamous bike activism event Critical Mass was caught on video hitting a Zipcar with his U-Lock in San Francisco, and...
Providence Health & Services: We Are Not Friends
I was not a popular child. Despite all efforts to the contrary, I find myself to be a pretty friendly adult. It’s rare I have...
Celebrity Rapist Role Call: Terry Richardson
Just your friendly neighborhood bloggist reminding you that popular fashion photographer Terry Richardson is a fucking rapist. But don’t take my word for it. Here’s...
Union Yes
It’s Labor Day, so I’m just going to take this opportunity to point out the fact that the rich-poor gap in America is worse than...
The Actual Engagement Post
I’ve been beating around the bush about Ben and my decision to get married. Some people have asked about “the proposal.” There wasn’t one. That’s...
Facebook Friends: The Duggars Fucking Suck
“And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man...
Look Like a Girl: How to Market to Women
August 9 was South African Woman’s day, and this was the shit that got served to them by Bic. Because in my life as a...
Failure of the White Liberal Promise
In case you missed it, Black Lives Matter interrupted a Bernie Sanders rally on Saturday, and they are getting all kinds of truly racist flack...
Why We Tell Children Not To Approach the Police
You’ve probably seen this thing making the rounds on social media. The part that really spoke to me, the part I haven’t heard in a...
Every time someone in Portland says:
“Californian” …replace it with” Mexican.” You’ll get a pretty accurate map of racism in the whitest city in America. It’s kind of hard when you...
3 Dumb Assumptions That Are Ruining Your Heterosexual Life
The whole world is made for us cis hetero trash, and what do we do? Fuck it all up by uncontrollable breeding and religious hate-speech....
Liking Rough Sex is Not an Indication of Mental Illness
That’s really all there is to say on the subject.
It’s Important to Say
There’s never a justification for having sex with someone who either can not or does not consent to having sex with you. Non-consensual sex includes...