A Sentance Caps Rebuttal to Your Blind Hillary Love

So, this ALL CAPS pro-Hillary rant has been making the rounds, and I have to say, there are some good points re: the misogyny that has been coming out of the woodwork from some of the Bernie camp. HOWEVER (last time I use all caps, promise) I’m going to go ahead and remind you Hillary lovers that it is nothing compared to the straight-up racism that came out of both Clintons when she went against Obama in the primaries 8 years ago. This “don’t vote for the… What do we call those people again?” style of non-saying the n-word but totally implying the n-word and n-wordish behavior wasn’t just a bad undercurrent some of their fans had going low level. That was their campaign. That they invented. And talked about. Constantly. The racism was coming from inside the white lady.

And just like your girl, Karma is a stone cold bitch. Unlike your girl, she doesn’t discriminate. But you know that.

Be honest, you don’t love Hillary because she’s an experienced and respectable stateswoman. You love Hillary because, for the first time a presidential candidate actually looks like you:

A middle aged woman who has gay friends, but only sort of tolerates the gay thing. I mean, Tom and Dan are great for brunch but you would never leave your kids with them. (What if your sweet babies got the wrong idea?)

Who basically voted for Obama (because you had to, am I right?) but you still hate to get in an elevator by yourself with a black guy.

You have a lot of feelings about the glass ceiling, and yet you pay Latin American people pennies on your own dollar to take care of your house and your children. But let’s keep those boarders closed. We don’t want them to feel like they can just come up here and take our jobs, do we? I mean you’re not racist. Rosa is like family… in that you expect her to do a lot of hard work without reciprocation.

On top of that hot bullshit, you bemoan the outsourcing of American jobs to foreign slave labor. But half your closet is Banana Republic and you would basically die if anybody you know saw you in a thrift store.

And you’re pissed I’m writing this right now because you actually kind of resemble some of these remarks and you either a) thought I know you better than that (bro, this isn’t about you, do you know how many white women are in America right now?) or b) feel like I don’t know you and I’m painting you and people like you with a pretty broad brush.

I can relate.

In her self-styled All Caps Explosion, Courtney Enlow re-classifies and then dismisses Hillary’s lack of support for anybody other than herself as “UNACCEPTABLE POLICIES” from “BACK IN THE 90S,” and shames Bernie supporters who “JUST LEARNED TRANS PEOPLE EXIST, LIKE, YESTERDAY.” Meanwhile, you know who knew trans people existed to in the 90s? Transpeople. And their families and friends. Also all of us because hello The Crying Game came out in 1992.

Same with black people, and other people of color who have also been around for, like, 200,000 fucking years. In fact, white people, we existed before you. Well, maybe not my people because apparently that whole land-bridge thing only happened 12,000 years ago, if it even happened like that at all. But whatever because Hillary’s discomfort with gay people is well documented, especially since she was still saying it’s a states rights thing as late as 2014. I wonder what your hero Hillary would say to a man suggesting that abortion services or childhood education is a states rights issue. I bet she’d be pretty pissed at the idea of people being allowed to vote on other people’s rights.

I’m not here to tear you Hillfans apart. I get it. I mean, I’ve never experienced the actual feeling of actually relating to a presidential candidate on a personal level, but I have an imagination (what the fuck else would people like me do with our lives without imagination?) I can dig it. But I also have a personal history of “liberal” white women being really fucking mean to everybody else around them because they realize they’re not white men, but they refuse to acknowledge the privilege they still do have.

When I was a kid I would clean people’s houses for money, and it was illegal because I was under 15 and of course nobody ever gave me a 1099. I had one boss who I am sure is down for Hilldog so hard right now. I charged $20 a house in 1999 (the equivalent of $28.86 according to the inflation calculator), and this boss would make me clean her filthy kitchen floor on my hands and knees with a fingernail brush. This is a punishment in the military and I did it for a mean lady for less than $30 so I had something to eat that week.

I can tell you that she would drop food on the floor and leave it for two weeks for me to come and clean it for her. And her cheap ass only paid me to come and clean her 1,200 foot house every other week. With a fucking fingernail brush.

And I can tell you that she lectured me on how “those people” were coming up from Mexico and taking American jobs for less than Americans would, driving down the economy making it so she couldn’t afford nice things. To my face. She literally said this to her illegal and underpaid Mexican household staff.

She’s not even the only racist “liberal” white lady boss I’ve had in my life, she’s just the most heinous. It’s not like I’m not voting for Hillary based solely on her uncanny resemblance to my past terrible bosses. That’s just the cherry on top of her stunning lack of likability, which I think I’ve pretty much covered elsewhere in this post.

I suddenly feel the need to protect white lady feelings and point out that I also had several awesome liberal white lady bosses, and know several awesome liberal white women and some decently not racist Hillary supporters who are willing to interpret her history of bigotry as “game playing.” I mean, if that’s what you have to say to yourself, just lay back and think of free access to legal abortion services (in rich Northern states) and the idea that maybe the Equal Pay Act won’t get sacraficed to the God of political game playing, but if you all tell me one more time that she has the same policies Obama had 8 years ago I’m going to puke in your hair. If 2008 Obama tried to sell me girl scout cookies today, I’d hit him with a broom. Because of 2008 Obama, we have the option to vote for someone 2008 Obama could never be. An actually really real progressive socialist.

Bitches, we wished for a unicorn and here he is. Now we’re going to stand around and say he might be too unrealistic. Your lack of gall disgusts me.

That said, even I am not entirely on the Bernwagon. I was a Nader supporter. I don’t vote Magical Unicorn lightly.

One Reply to “A Sentance Caps Rebuttal to Your Blind Hillary Love”

  1. I am a Hillary supporter. I think she has the best record for standing up for women’s rights than any other candidate. While a love Befnie Sanders I don’t think his plan for all of the things he wants to do is doable financially.

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