Everybody loves to fuck (asexuals excepted, of course). Nobody loves getting fucked. Or at least we don’t talk about it if we do.
We live in a culture that constantly pretends that the receptive partner and the bottom are the same thing. Frequently they’re used interchangeably. We also happen to live in a culture that shames receptive partners and bottoms as well as subs and masochists, while celebrating penetrative partners, tops, doms, and sadists, as if we’re not all having the same sex.
This idiotic bullshit, and piles more like it keeps a lot of people from articulating their needs in a sexual context. We’re afraid of the tendency to associate sexual sadism with actual cruelty, and with the emotionally stunted idea that when you order someone to dominate you in one context, you automatically put them in charge of you in all contexts.
A lot of receptive-partner anxiety comes from these sexist heteronormative assumptions, and they’re killing our collective good sex mojo. So, for the greater good, here are three thoughts to better facilitate you getting fucked how you want to get fucked, if getting fucked is your thing.
1. The emphases on the receptive partner being penetrated by a dick (or dick analog) is only our phallocentric culture at work. If we step away from that for a second, the penetrative partner is also having their hard-on stolen by the receiver’s hole. Literally, the receptive partner is taking that hard dick energy into themselves like an offering to a diety.
2. If getting fucked somehow makes someone less valuable as a person, then they obviously have other problems going on, and need to man up and sort those.
3. Some people will mock the person “being the woman.” But getting fucked like a woman is only a bad thing if women are shameful. Since women are fucking awesome, and just as deserving of equal treatment and respect as any man, there’s no more issue.
So go forth and get fucked, gentle reader. For the benefit of us all.