This is something I do every year for the holidays. I collect the funniest and most interesting tweets from around the Internet into Halls of Fame. I only use public tweets, but if you’re tweet is on here and you want me to take it down, just let me know at @marinaisgo and I’ll take it down no questions.
We got a pretty great crop this year from a precursor to horror…
…to a budding Neighborhood Watch captain
during the thanksgiving dinner my aunt called my uncle ‘daddy’ im out
— karen (@boopyluhan) November 27, 2015
I woke up next to a beer can and a half eaten piece of pie. Thanksgiving was weird.
— Emily Rasch (@EmilyKayRasch) November 27, 2015
The cops knock on our door every thanksgiving that's how u know we live af ????????
— rowan (@richhomieroro) November 27, 2015
When the cops come to thanksgiving & u dont even get in trouble cuz there too busy laughin at the fact that u have a live pig in the kitchen
— Cassidy Baker (@Cass_BakerXo) November 27, 2015
How long is it going to be live though?
well it's just not a russian-armenian thanksgiving unless you spend at least part of it running from the cops
— inna propriate (@_innapropriate) November 27, 2015
Aunt: "Why you always on your phone?" Me: "Why can't you keep a husband?" #ThanksgivingClapBack pic.twitter.com/5bqXRq3IkR
— Queen ? (@xMINAJESTY_) November 27, 2015
At Thanksgiving dinner dude asked for bathroon and shouted "I need Shit Tickets, I aint got no shame" ???????????? #thereIsAlwaysOne #shitTickets
— freedom lemoi (@freelemoi) November 27, 2015
aunt: your style is so…. different me: just like ya baby fathers #ThanksgivingClapBack pic.twitter.com/EqkV4CcXen
— diamond. (@just_dye) November 27, 2015
Thanksgiving just isn't the same without gramps! Miss you and the incest.
— President Walken (@GlenAllenWalken) November 27, 2015
If you don't have a drinking game for what your crazy uncle says you're not doing thanksgiving right
— McKenzie Severn (@collegegirl1043) November 27, 2015
thanksgiving 2k15 ended in a break up, the cops called, and angry drunk spanish men fighting in the yard and hella tears. woooo !!
— ?kitten supreme? (@magicbabbee) November 27, 2015
Ate so much thanksgiving food my cum prolly taste like gravy
— Daddy (@Borgore) November 27, 2015
When you've known the chisme for 2 weeks but have to pretend like it's new to get más chisme. #Thanksgiving pic.twitter.com/D4sICKiKwV
— Ricky Spanish (@Milheril) November 27, 2015
most importantly i'm thankful 4 my mom giving birth 2 me and life honestly being so lit
— LING LING (@jamilaalexis) November 27, 2015
Thirsty gay boys on #Grindr like "looking to get stuffed on Thanksgiving"
— John Juston (@jjuston) November 27, 2015
Tell me why the bitchy old lady called the cops on us bc my cousin threatened to slap her? ???????????? Best Thanksgiving yet ????????????
— Ariana Fumero (@ArianaCaylen924) November 27, 2015
My grandpa said "how bout y'all put the phones down for quality family time" and my uncle said "how bout you quit smoking cigarettes"
— S.Arceneaux? (@suummeerrrrr) November 27, 2015
I'm at syds for thanksgiving and they're reading anal sex acts from urban dictionary with the entire family, it's so great
— Parker™ (@blessedburrito) November 27, 2015
The same 70 year old on Grindr that once tried to hookup with me is also related to my aunt and was at my thanksgiving dinner
— fatherly issues (@eatmyaesthetics) November 27, 2015
“Oh, I see you two already know each other. You can sit together!”
Just got scolded. "No Grindr at the Thanksgiving table." #sorrynotsorry
— Chris McKeanAtkinson (@ChrisAragon) November 27, 2015
Thanksgiving been bringing out the incest in everybody ????
— bbygirl ? (@candicebrishun_) November 27, 2015
It wouldn't be thanksgiving if my mom didn't get drunk and tried to fight me ????????????
— BodyByChrisKillsIt (@Chriskillsit513) November 27, 2015
Wooo!!! I just woke up on the toilet!!! A personal thanksgiving record!!!! Round 2….
— Edwin Tailfather (@Etailfeather) November 26, 2015
My brother wears a tail these days and we'll, sure enough, it got caught under someone's chair leg at Thanksgiving dinner…
— Arch (@TallPrivilege) November 26, 2015
I’m going to need some detail on that tail wearing situation.
It wouldnt be thanksgiving w/o my uncle spanking me, my cousin tryin to eat my finger, and my uncle showin me his gfs nudes #Thanksgiving
— Star McCown (@StarMcCown) November 26, 2015
"he was riding his bicycle down Bray's hill and got caught under a dump truck and it ripped his nut off" thanksgiving family conversation
— rachel (@raquellibre) November 26, 2015
this thanksgiving i am thankful for my wonderful ass and my amazing ability to suck a dick
— babe (@lovelykxtten) November 26, 2015
Wow only on thanksgiving do I see an old ass man getting head on the highway ????
— Slap (@MattVigorito) November 26, 2015
I have a feeling I know what old dude is thankful for.
old homie legit tried to fight me – "I'll tear your fucking head to off." like CHILL HOMIE ITS THANKSGIVING CHILL pic.twitter.com/q72UBdNWrB
— cali dad (@0B_JuanKenobi) November 26, 2015
While it is wrong to try and fight the children, I do have to wonder why y’all are standing so close together.
ALL BULLSHIT ASIDE… I pray my aunt that I hate comes to thanksgiving dinner I told her was gonna spit on her ass when I saw her ho ass.
— May 21 (@Jamez_Garcia) November 25, 2015
Well, as long as you warned that ho.