The Power of Lowered Standards

If you want to get laid, or have a great day, the solution is the same: lower your fucking standards.

The real problem with lowered standards, isn’t standard lowering itself, but that people tend to pick the wrong standards, or lower across the board. Both strategies are wrong.

The idea that you should never lower your standards is some white American bullshit, and even though the economy is supposed to be bouncing back, you know and I know that nobody can afford that mess.

Some people say you should lower your expectations and raise your standards. That sounds like some college-ass psychobabble. Like expectations and standards are just a couple of faders in the mixing board of your mind. You are a man, or a woman, or something else, but definitely a human, or at least a highly intelligent animal if you’re reading this right now. Your brain is a pile of gross neurons and connections and crazy ass other shit we don’t even really know about yet. So let’s keep this simple.

If you’re having a bad day, or a dry spell, just pick a couple of standards and lower them. If it doesn’t work out, you don’t have to keep them there, you can bring those back up and lower others. That’s the great thing about free will.

So, if your boss is a dick, your kids are ugly, and your vibrator is broken, lower your standards. What’s wrong with ugly kids? What you really don’t want is stupid kids. Penis enthusiasts of old made due with plain old vegetables and whittled sticks for millennia. Stop being so snotty.

As for the dick boss, you gotta lower your employment standards. Nothing is worth putting up with a shitty boss.