I don’t know what it is, but this relationship has turned me into the biggest, stupidest, weakest sissy girl in the entire world. Ben left for spring break at 2:30 today, while I was in class, and up until I got out of class I was totally okay with not seeing him for a week, it didn’t bother me, I wasn’t phased until, suddenly, as soon as I got out of the classroom I realized that I have one week and two days of being TOTALLY ALONE, and my mom was in my head (not really my mom, just the thoughts that I know are her fault), like a hyena, with her crazy talk, and she was like “now that he has some space, he’s going to realize what a bad girlfriend you are and dump you… you shouldn’t have been so non-chalant about him going away he’s going to think you don’t care and cheat on you… he’s going to figure out he doesn’t need you around…” it just kept going, and I was like, “okay, I’ve got enough therapy, I’ve read enough books, this is unhealthy thinking, and it needs to stop now”, and it did, but I was left with the awful realization that I’m so fucking attached to this person, that I can’t stand him gone for a week, and this is some bad fucking news right here. What about this summer, when he’s gone for three months? What about when he really does dump me, and I loose my best fucking friend in this whole stupid school as well as the best boyfriend I ever had? I don’t know, but two things have just occurred to me, one being that neither one of these events has even happened yet, and are, in fact quite a long ass ways away, and the other that I haven’t gotten more that four or five house sleep a night, and this was the most stressful week out of the whole fucking stressful month, and that maybe if I finally took a shower and a nap, life would be a little better when I woke up.