What does a feminist wedding look like?

by marina / 6

No really. I’m asking.

So far I have:

  • No weird “taking cow to market” isle walking
  • No pronouncing “man and wife”
  • The less money given to the wedding industry the better
  • Pot Luck
  • Home made cake
  • Cheap dress
  • Bonus points if it’s a dress I already own
  • This is not “my day”
  • Because every day is my day
  • Because I run my own life
  • Because I’m a real person
  • With mostly equal rights

In lieu of gifts, guests can donate to Planned Parenthood.

I’m still going around in my head about the ring. Do I want a ring? The answer to that question is always yes. I like rings. Do I want to pay for a ring, or even know what I’d want such a ring to look like? The answer is no.

I have one ring that we call the vagina ring because it looks a little like an abstract vagina. It may be the most feminist option.

I don’t know about wearing it everywhere though. The little clitoris part looks kind of precarious.

Also, the whole ring as a marker of ownership bit is a pretty huge boner killer for me.


UPDATE: Ben still wants gifts. Back to the drawing board I guess.

6 Replies to “What does a feminist wedding look like?”

  1. If you’re talking about a ring as in an engagement ring (rather than wedding rings), you could always get Ben one, too. Then it’s not a marker of ownership but a mutual symbol of partnership.

    1. If Ben weren’t terrified of rings, this is probably what we would have done. But he’s not going to be wearing one, so I won’t be either. It seems weird for me to do it and him not. Especially when I consider the reasons I’d wear one if he’s not wearing one.

      For wedding and engagement rings both. Although I may wear a wedding ring. I’m still not sure about that one.

  2. You should recognize that the wedding itself is mostly throwing a party for your friends and family. You will be so busy chatting with people that it won’t be relaxing for you. Make sure you get together with your out of town friends the day before.

    1. People keep saying stuff like this and then being like “but you should be happy!” Those two concepts seem diametrically opposed.

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