Wedding Jitters?

Facebook friend Jayna asked me to write about:


A topic I know nothing about. Well, sort of nothing. I mean, I’ve never gotten married, but I do have jitters that I associate with weddings. Mainly the ones where I think I might actually want to get married.

After a lifetime of being staunchly anti-wedding; after stating that I have no faith in the institution, that it’s just a spectacle that holds not true meaning; that I’d only get married in order to get healthcare, or to look legitimate on adoption or foster care applications; I am a failure in the face of my own ideals. I would be less alarmed if I woke up one morning and realized I was gay. If I were gay, I’d have to break up with Ben, but at least I wouldn’t be as much of a hypocritical butt fuck for wanting to get married.

Ugh. Straight people marrying each other. Can it just stop? Apparently not. What part of my brain is doing this? If I only knew that, and had better aim, I’d trepanate that fucker right out.

I think it’s the ring. It’s so shiny. I am a magpie. 10 million tons of common sense has nothing on 29 years of marketing and sparkly.