Twitter Tells Me: Sex, Suicide and Unsafe Driving

As is my habit (and in order to get the poetry as far away from the top of the page as I can) I have once again turned towards twitter for blog inspiration. Here are the tweet suggestions my lovely followers have given me.

Teddy_Picker: You and Dr. Boyfriend boning. I always enjoy hearing about that.

sarahcampeau: @Teddy_Picker yup…let’s live vicariously through you!

punkn: @Teddy_Picker Agreed!

Considering that I just learned that at least 2 of my boyfriend’s friends from high school read this blog, I have a new found respect for the concept of modesty. But I do always say that I’ll answer any question and tackle any subject. On those principals, I founded my life, and out of respect for them, I refuse bitch out. Also, I’ve ran this whole post by him to make sure I’m not offending his sensibilities. So, if you don’t want to hear about hardcore, long-term-monogamy-style fuck-fests, read no further.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I love having sex with my boyfriend. I don’t understand when people say they get bored with sex. They must not be doing it right. Yeah, it’s the same basic thing every time, but so are deviled eggs, and no red-blooded patriot can get enough of those motherfuckers.

For example, the other day, I was already late for work and packing my lunch in the kitchen when Ben came up behind me and bent me over the counter. I told him I was late for work, and continued to bag salad fixings, but we both knew I had no plans to stop him.

Sometimes the best part of waking up is cumming your brains out with your face smashed into the cutting board next to your lunch. I’m glad to say I went 3 for 3 in about ten minutes that morning. Sadly, Ben was 0 for 0 despite my efforts. If I am a sexual sprinter, my boyfriend is more of a cross country guy. Don’t worry, I have every sportsmanlike intention of helping him make up for the loss.

wotusay91: Is it nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles?

This is from the bit in Hamlet where he’s contemplating suicide. Having contemplated suicide myself, and not being suicidal at the moment, my answer is a firm “not exactly.” The way Hamlet sees it, he has two options available. Either he continues to be a victim, or he fights back. But not through victory, through the ultimate defeat.

When contemplating suicide, it can seem like your choices are limited. Your vision becomes blurred, you can only see the bad. But the light comes in when you realize that total victory over your “sea of troubles” should never be the goal. It’s the fight itself that’s the difference.

I can feel dragged down by depression more than I care to admit. When I consider the “sea of troubles” my mind pretends I have, fighting to keep my head above water can seem like a daunting task. But when I focus on the fact that I have fought it back, that I continue to fight for my health and well being, every action towards that end is a victory in itself.

wotusay91: Blog about why euthanasia should be compulsory for crusty,s that have forgotten how to drive safely

Euthanasia is a little harsh, don’t you think? My grandmother actually gave up her drivers license recently because she felt that she was becoming a danger, and it’s been really depressing for her. She has friends who still drive, her boyfriend drives and my mother drives her around, but it’s not the same. Not only has she lost a great deal of independence, the drivers license is a symbol of her general decline in health and mobility in the last few years. A decline that she feels she will never recover from.

She has shared with me recently that she’s stopped doing a lot of things she used to enjoy. They have become tedious, they are more difficult lately than they were years before. I’m glad she gave up her license, her driving had gotten frightening. But I hate what that sacrifice symbolizes for her and my family.