After Thursday’s How to Negotiate blog, I thought of some things I’ve heard and had said to me in negotiations that signaled I was working with a bad negotiator. Usually, this is an indication that it’s time to take your shit and go home, but in some situations, that’s not an option. So, this is what they say, what they mean, and how to deal with it.
What they say
“We’ve never had anyone ask for that before.”
What they mean
We’re relatively inexperienced in business, but are trying to hide it by making you feel like an idiot.
OR
We actually get a lot of people asking for the exact thing you’re asking for, but we pretend those people don’t exist.
How to deal with it
“Right, but I’m asking for it now.”
Even if they really never have heard of the thing you’re requesting, that shouldn’t be part of the conversation. It’s an item you want to come to an agreement on, and them making you feel weird about bringing it up is not productive. It’s either blundering, or it’s a tactic to get you on the defensive and off-balance.
What they say
“That’s irrelevant.”
What they mean
I don’t think your concerns are valid. I have no respect for your point of view.
How to deal with it
Either find a way to make them see how your problem is their problem, or find a way to not have that problem anymore.
For example, if you’re worried that a supplier is going to deliver late and hold up deadlines, the answer to this presumptuous fit of denial would be to make them responsible for deadlines. And if it’s really an issue, tack on fees for late delivery. Then the “irrelevant” manner of supplies management is not only not your problem, but if it turns out to be a problem after all, it magically becomes your payday.
What they say
“You should be happy you have a job/that I’m talking to you/that I’m even considering your offer.”
What they mean
Please don’t look anywhere else but here, please don’t consider other options. I am so desperate for your help that the only thing I can think of to get you to work with me is to belittle you because being a complete asshole is the only thing I have to offer.
How to deal with it
At this point, I really suggest leaving. But, if you insist on staying, or have no choice, the only way to deal with this kind of third grade shitlordation is to shitlord back harder. So your answer needs to be “No YOU should be happy I work HERE/am talking to YOU/am even wasting time on YOUR offer.” Brace for drama.
What they say
“The person we had on before you/my cousin/another worker would do this job for way cheaper/a specific and horrifically insulting low-ball offer”
What they mean
I am flat-out lying to see how stupid you are. I either hated my cousin’s work, have burned a bridge with the last guy, or I can’t find anyone that cheap or I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.
How to deal with it
Leave. Please leave. These people will never be happy, so you will never be happy, and they probably won’t pay you anyway. If you’re tempted to answer this question, just empty your checking account and light all the money on fire. It’ll be less of a hassle in the long run.