The Situation Worsens

The Internet’s down, and the dog, who’s been getting increasingly agitated and restless over the last two weeks, just ate a bunch of Artichoke leaves, which will go nicely with the piece of street detritus she ate on her afternoon walk. This hopefully just means terrible poops, but may or may not lead to some 3am diarrhea clean up. Which is what happened the last time she ate something she wasn’t supposed to have.

I don’t understand how single mothers do it. And human children almost never get five miles of walking a day, unlike this tiny shithead. Sure, she hasn’t been getting the full five miles because I’ve got to work, but she gets at least two. I’m not that much of an asshole. Okay, maybe one on a bad day, but I’m not fucking Wonder Woman over here.

This dog takes so much attention. I never realized how much Ben dotes on her. Now that he’s been gone, she is desperate for interaction. This is how you turn your daughters into sluts: Improper exercise and a lack of face to face time. They got to work it out somewhere. Obviously it won’t be with you. It will be with someone you disapprove of. Someone who’s father bought them a sports car.

Two types of young people I completely disapprove of: spoiled young people and entitled young people. Frequently they are one in the same.

As you have probably surmised, I am laying know bed writing this on my phone. Because the Internet’s down.

Most of the rest of the house is intact. But thank fuck Ben gets home tomorrow. Which is today for you… if you’re reading this the day it comes out.