Pepper’s Log, Stardate Yesterday

11:00 p.m. Marina shows up and we hang out for a little bit. Then I get to go on a WALK! to her car, which is cool.

11:30 p.m. Hang out in a nursing home parking lot, guard the car.

11:45 p.m. Hang out in a Sheriff’s station parking lot, also guard the car.

12:00 a.m. Attempt to intimidate the Jack in the Box teller into giving me delicious burgers. Does not work. Banished to back seat.

12:15 to 1:00 a.m. Driving. Kinda boring, Marina doesn’t like it when I step on the window thing and make it go down, so now the windows are locked. Sleep

1:15 a.m. WALK! Marina and Ben quietly cheer when I pee, I find this more than a little confusing.

1:30 a.m. Bath. Do not appreciate. Was gifted a squeaky duck as a peace offering. Gladly accept.

1:45 a.m. Cat makes scared cat sounds at me, but when I leave the room she follows, still making scared cat sound. Feel it’s best to ignore her. May not be stable.

2:00 a.m. Time for bed. More than a little excited to be allowed on a bed. Was encouraged to deescalate.

6:30 a.m. Alarm goes off, must ensure that my hosts have heard it. They seem ungrateful.

6:45 a.m. WALK! Nothing more to report, except that the same quiet cheering happens for poos as for pees. Still more than a little confused by it.

8:00 a.m. The worst has happened. I have been left here to die in this house. I’ve scratched some of the paint off the door, nothing more to do for it but have a final nap with squeaky duck before the darkness sets in. They left me a nice soft bed. Presumably it is for me to deposit my corpse into.

2:00 p.m. The best has happened! Marina came home! I was laying in my bed with squeaky duck, breathing my last, and then I was saved! Jumped over the couch as an expression of joy.

2:15 p.m. WALK!

2:15 to 3:45 p.m. Extremely boring car ride. Slept

4:00 p.m. I’m back at home! Do appropriate twisty circly dance.

4:30 p.m. Back in the car.

5:00 p.m. Hey it’s Frana! So excited, attempt to protect her from lady in wheelchair. Hurt lady’s feelings. Hurt feelings likely compounded by Marina telling the lady that “she never does this,” ensuring lady thinks I hate her specifically. Not personal, just unnerved by people with wheels instead of legs. May be a plot to harm Frana, can’t chance it.

6:00 p.m. Back home and Suzie’s here. She lets me lick her on the mouth and calls me Pepperoni. Other stuff happens, but it’s mostly boring.*

7:15 to 8:00 p.m. Car ride. Slept some more.

9:00 to 10:00 Trip to Petco, Target, and In and Out. Make it well known that I do not trust the largeness and whiteness of this Target. Whine until Ben parks the car facing away from it, but maintain that I will stare out the one window that I can see it from as long as we’re in the parking lot. This foul beast shall not best me!

10:30 p.m. WALK!

11:00 p.m. Back at Marina and Ben’s, do wiggly jumpy dance and immediately nap on the office floor. It was a hard day for all of us.

*If you’re wondering if this is me telling you, in the guise of a blog written by the dog that I saw and talked with my estranged mother for the first time in 5 years, the answer is yes. Because I am a grown up and I can handle real life… just as long as that life can be narrated by a rat terrier. I promise a more mature attempt to address this on Monday, but it’s late and we’re all worn out.