Kappas are Dumb. Lizardmen Forever

08052014_blog

Get this. A kappa is a Japanese bowl demon who can be defeated by… tipping it over.

Imagine, if you will, this scene in your next teenage facefuck fest:

Girl: You’re impossibly fast and strong. Your skin is blue and you smell like fish. You have no eyelids…and sometimes your arms go back and forth through your torso like they’re one appendage. You only eat human livers and you only drink blood. You don’t leave this stream. I know what you are…
Boy: Say it, out loud, say it.
Girl: Kappa.
Boy: Are you afraid?
Girl: No.

LAME.

It doesn’t even have a tail.

No, the sexy monster of the future is obviously the humble lizardman.

We’ve already had a sexy Lizardman on Teen Wolf played by none other than Colton Haynes. Who is the definition of hot right now.