Today I went on some in-person cold-calls with my buddy Steve, and then I came home at 1 p.m. and read for the rest of the day. Yesterday it was like pulling teeth to get any productivity out of me, although I did manage it. It’s 9, and I still have to write my work blog for the day.
I know this is only two days, but it’s really unusual for me. I feel tired all the time, disengaged from everything. I find myself loathe to answer the phone, even if they’re friends. Even if they’re calling me back. I forced myself to walk the dog, do the dishes, and take care of all my actual work, but I just want to lay in bed and read until I starve to death.
Maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe the fact that I didn’t let myself rest yesterday when I wanted to has bled over into today. I’m having a hard time being able to tell if I’m depressed or legitimately tired.
I have good reasons for either. Grandma leaves in 10 days, I’m not getting any new clients despite my best efforts. It’s hard to keep the edge of desperation from everything I do lately, and the fact that none of it gets me results has only made me wonder what the point of all this running around is anyway.
I’m making every effort I can to dig my way out of this, the reason Steve came with me on cold calls is because he generously offered to give me some pointers on technique, and I learned a lot about what I should be doing. I mean, I feel kind of stupid because I know that people are more likely to go with someone they trust, and just calling or walking in somewhere asking for work doesn’t exactly inspire loyalty these days. People need a lot more than that. So I was wooing clients with about as much skill as a 13 year old boy.
Going full Beavis on these people because I’m desperate for work is not fucking helpful. But before that, I was setting up vague meetings with anybody who might think they’d like to talk to someone about the Internet. Also bad.
Now my move is to find out more about them first, see if they even need what I have to sell, or if we’d even be compatible. It’s the same amount of leg work, but I’m already getting a better response. In general, people like to talk about what they do, especially with other people who know what they’re doing. If I can help them, then all the better, if not, it’s still nice to know about your market. I just need to calm my shit and not be fucking weird.
Easier said than done.
By the way, as research for how to spell “Beavis” I found this amazingly preserved Anglefire site about Beavis and Butthead pickup lines. I just… it’s amazing. A little slice of Internet history right there.