Hello Facebook Graph Search

So I got Facebook graph search today. Of course, I immediately checked the badass level of my friend group.

Apparently none of you are badass enough to be my friend.

My friends who like pain – no results

Obviously these are the people I should be hanging out with. Especially that baby. That baby seems like a bad ass.

People who like pain

Then I thought I’d find some new people to hang with. You know, people who share my interests, when suddenly…BABY?! What the fuck are you doing in this search result?! Do you even know what bloodsports are? I doubt that you do.

Men interested in men who like bloodsports

But I realized my friends are good people where it counts.

My friends who like Chris Brown – no results

Unlike these people.

Married people who like adultery

These people are just trying to get off. Especially that baby. What’s up lesbian porn baby? Now the whole world knows your shameful, sinful secret.

Christians who like Lesbian Porn

Some of these people think they’re funny (exhibit A: subtle “Monday” joke). Others of these people think they’re right (exhibit B: completely gratuitous hillbilly rifle situation)

People who like racism

These poor people are victims of the economy. Also, probably spreading VD.

People in relationships who work at prostitution

Conclusion: Facebook graph search is fucking creepy and weird, but sometimes funny.

Also, in case you don’t follow me on twitter, the other day I was doing a search for the term “Black History Month” and this is the hot mess Google Image pooped back at me. 1. WTF is with the Nikes, that’s racist as fuck. 2. WTF is up with the cartoon Klansman. 3. Does that guy’s sign really say END BLACK HISTORY MONTH? WTF all over the place.