GDC Day, or, Making Food While Ben’s Away

Ben left the house at 3 to go to GDC this morning. Which means that for the remainder of my “sleep” I was attended by the dog and the cat, both desperate not to let me slip away from them as well. At one point, they even sat next to each other, something Medusa would normally become violent over. I guess the sudden disappearance of one of the food-things is enough to make a cat do desperate, crazy shit.

She still won’t let me out of her sight.

This is her attempt to convey “Don’t leave me, I’m too adorable to starve”

Mass Effect in the background, a cat and an Eeepc in the foreground. What more could a lady want on a Wednesday evening such as this. You know, besides her awesome boyfriend.

I always hate it when Ben is at a conference because he’s usually too busy to be on his phone, which means I can’t snark at him about all the stuff that even I’m not stupid enough to put on Twitter or Facebook. Then there’s the added trouble of the food. He normally makes all our food, so when I get home from work I find myself at something of a loss. But not tonight. Tonight I came home, looked around the kitchen, and whipped this beauty up off the top of my head.

How to make this beautiful shit-storm:

Fair warning: I can’t cook. It’s only a weird kind of miracle that this even worked.

Ingredients: Potatoes, olive oil, salt, bacon, smoked Gouda, cheddar, sweet peppers,

Preheat the oven to, like, 400 or something. Take a potato (whatever kind, don’t get weird), cut it thin like 1/8 of an inch, and toss it in some olive oil and salt. Layer the oiled slices on a baking sheet and put them in the oven.

Put the bacon between two thick layers of paper towel and microwave them for 6 minutes, add extra minutes for however crispy you want it. It’s going to cook more after you take it out too, so keep that in mind.

When the chips are starting to brown, flip them around and shit. I have no idea how long this takes. But I guess it’s about the same amount of time as it takes to beat James’ 148 pull-up record in the Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC. If you don’t have that DLC, then you shouldn’t even be on this blog right now because that shit is awesome and that game is the best game in the universe.

When the chips are looking edible (they probably won’t be really crispy, they’re more like chip shaped fries than actual chips) take them out, put them on a plate and shred smoked Gouda and cheddar all over them, then crumble on the bacon. Pop that fucker in the microwave for a minute while you cut up your sweet peppers. Sprinkle them on top and there you have an amazing pile of grease and sweet pepper. You could also add some corn or other veg, but I was done with making food.

Bone Apatite.

I know. I spelled it wrong on purpose.