Side Effects May Vary
I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about how my recent weight loss has been making me crazy in the head (moreso than usual...
Category: Personal Journal
Thank You Letter from Yourself
You Know Who Paradise 555.FUCK.YOU [email protected] June 08, 2009 Sucker Queen of Being a Lame Looser 1615 Idiot Ave Apt. #Eat a Dick Suckerville, State...
Freestyles
I pulled this off of the freestyle thread on the Keith and the Girl forums. Just in case it gets deleted. Many are cheesy and...
Boyfriend, I Made You This for Loving Me
I made this for my sweet boyfriend. It has all our living things in it.
I am Not a Swiss Cheese Person
So… this is about to get really lame. Stop reading if you’re tired of hearing about my stupid momma drama. I’m hoping that this won’t...
Wuv, Sweet Wuv
I’m writing, not so much as a response to, but a riff on No Arms James’ recent blog about being single, and longing for a...
I guess I had something to say about God
I was raised without religion. I understand that my grandmother was raised an atheist, as in “this family does not believe in God” type of...
Seven Years with Good Rent
Yes friends, after seven long years of exile (well, 6 and a half, but who’s counting) behind the Orange Curtain, I am returning to the...
It’s Like the Giving Tree, Only Not Stupid
I’ve just been thinking about the arboreal nature of human development. Have you ever met a person who was like a seed, and every once...
Who’s Liveblogging Night Traffic Court? Me, Fuckers!
I went to Night Traffic Court for doing a California roll right turn on a red light, and it was boring so I decided what...
Customer Service Horror Stories
I worked at Blockbuster for almost 2 years in college, and I have a few horror stories from that. My favorite one happened towards the...
Rain, Rain…
I guess I’m on a blogging kick. Anyway, I thought I’d write about the rain because that’s what’s going on and I’m anything if not...
Obligatory Anti-Christmas Rant In Under 10 Minutes!
I just wanted to say that I could really do without Christmas, completely. Like, I understand that there needs to be a festival of lights,...
For Those About to Rock, We Salute You
So, awhile ago I wrote this tawdry block of text on the Keith and the Girl forums in response to a girl who was having...
I Guess I’m Just a Douche Bag
So I’ve been thinking about the last blog I wrote about Ben’s perfect family, and my anxiety over my lameness and overall lack of tact...
You Down With O.P.P?
No. I’m not even down with the idea that P can belong to OP, that is P that are O than the person the aforementioned...
Vegetarianism Revisited
You can see the whole do to here , but I’ve decided to go back to vegetarianism and take a more detailed look at my...
The Old Songs
Awhile ago, I was listening to The Flatus Show, upon the recommendation of Kalvin of the Hello Waffles Podcast and Kentie, the host sang a...
Rape Tuesday
I posted this on a forum in response to some guy’s dumb instance that “women who are raped are asking for it, women think that...
To (M)eat or Not to (M)eat
I spent the entirety of last weekend in the desert, walking and sweating and eating exceptionally crappy college cafeteria food. As much fun as this...
Race Race Race
This was an assignment for my African American Literature class. We were told to write about our first memory of race in a non-linear way....
Today I…
…got ff work early, listened to some music, took a shower, read comic books and jerked off. Then I fell asleep secure in the knowledge...
We’re Good
It’s 8:51. I’m using the wireless internet outside my job. I have to be in there in nine more minutes. I hate this job, but...
And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me!
Poopy morning. My lap-top’s mother-bored burnt out. I asked my grandma (the richist person I know) if she would please buy me a macbook for...
Could You Die?
I know I could… and I mean from fucking bliss!!! Ok so, long story short: On a whim, I e-mailed the wonderful, fabulous, drag queen...
fucked in both ends with nothing to show for it
The last time I was this conflicted, it was drug induced. If I’m on drugs and I’ve forgotten, they should have worn off by now....
Another Sunday Night
I don’t know, I kind of suck at life. Tonight I did the laundry for the first time since I was single. Ben usually does...
oh my bright red jesus
I’m watching M.A.S.H. My chest hurts. Bronchitis again? Maybe. My show sucks, but I can’t stop making it, and I don’t think I care, but...
Podcast
Some of you know that I have a show. We got a new, easier to remember website http://www.ilovelard.com Also the show has a myspace http://www.myspace.com/marinacast...
Since I Might Have Cancer…
I’m holding a Tombstone Writing Contest! The winner of this contest will get to pull the plug if I get put on life support (in...
really really long and unnecissary
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.) × I miss somebody right now. × I don’t watch much TV these days. (I...
Dear Morons:
Look here, idiots of the world, I do not care what you think. You may think that you are very smart, I’m sure that you’re...
Oh My Hairy Liberal Pussy!!!
I was listening to “The Best Of The Left” podcast this morning, and holy fuck. These guys are fucking idiots. I had downloaded it because...
Kill Your Family
I’m so fucking sick of people assuming that a) nuclear families are the natural basis of all societies ever, b) nuclear families are the absolute...
Get Up, Stand Up
Allright everybody, breath in, big breath like you’re dying. If you can’t hear the air rushing into your lungs over the hum of the computer,...
Fuck Customers
I fucking hate people who have never had to work in the service industry!!!! you are all morons, you should have been aborted!!! like I...
What the Fuck
… AM I DOING IN THIS OFFICE WHEN THE BEACH IS SOO SO IMPOSSIBLY CLOSE!!!!!
This Is How It Went Down
One time, I was reading Malcolm X’s autobiography, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you want to know about civil rights, and other...
Yes, I’m Talking To You
Dear Mr. Pope, I heard on NPR today that your Papacy would be about love, and I seemed to remember that you were the same...
Free Offer!
Did you want to be a medium as a child, but realized that you weren’t psychic? Well, here’s your chance to channel Marina Martinez in...
The Truth
So, there’s this pro-life bulletin floating around that’s kinda lying, and I thought I’d correct it for posterity. I may be a godless heathen, but...
The Issue
I waste a lot of my time wishing I was someone else: Someone cooler, more fun, smarter, more important and more awesome or more creative...
Dont bring booze, or I’ll sock you in the face, and other reproductive organs
My mom’s throwing me a not-so-suprise birthday party on Jan 14th. Anyone who can read this is totally invited. It’s going to be at our...
Chillin
Life’s good, it’s friday and I’m tired of sitting here. I’m reading V for Vendetta, so far it’s awesome and I can’t wait for the...
I don’t wanna know
I’m listening to the John Roberts hearings. Feinstien is at the pulpit, she rocks. I especially like how everybody in the room, (who had been...
Misbehavior in Lines
So I’m waiting in line at my school to buy margaret cho tickets, and I totally scared the shit out of this poor little incoming...
New Apartment
Hey All. I’ve noticed that everybody in Glendora works at Disneyland, which is fun because I live right around the corner now. If you didn’t...
If there’s a light, it’s headed straight for me!
On Saturday, I saw Mysterious Skin, the newist Arakki movie, and I loved it. It was so disturbing that at least two people left within...
Update
I’m sitting in the living room, just ate some awesome spinach and tomato pasta with garlic veggies and sourdough toast that I made all by...
this sucks
Things I love about college: 1. Professors are smart, creative and all around awesome 2. Class curriculum is stimulating and insightful, if a tad too...