We Had a Long Day
First full work day of the new year wore us out. However, please do notice that I have formally separated the erotica reviews from the...
Category: Favorites
Because Rich People Think Jail is Fun
This is one of those posts I’ll write but not publish for six months. Because, of course, none of this actually happened and it is...
2014 – Year in Review
It’s become a tradition on the blog that I post something of an annual review at the close of the year. Here is 2012, and...
New Year’s Eve 2014 Twitter Hall of Fame
As you might imagine, last night was big for much-contested evil empire cabhack start-up Uber. Less so for friendly underdog Lyft, but they made a...
Hell is for Children – We’re Raising Our Kids Wrong
We often think of the concept of a mother’s love as being an immutable force of nature that no earthly power could overcome, and yet,...
How not to write about minority characters
Minority consumers have heard every lame excuse in the book for monoculture creators to make up for their constant and recurring failure to including us....
Christmas Eve Eve
Sounds like a brand of douche sold exclusively at The 99 Cent Store. It would be pine scented. Of course. Fun fact: In the last...
Wherin I Watch Honky Monstrosity “Devious Maids”
I saw a trailer for the Lifetime Original show Devious Maids, which seems to be some sort of social experiment regarding how many degrading outfits...
So you have an ethnic partner…
Tips and tricks for keeping and caring for your whiteness-challenged loved one. An angry Mexican rant.* 1. Their culture is not “cool.” Don’t start buying...
Business Crying
Just had my quarterly melt-down, right on schedule. Tears and everything. For no earthly reason. Well.. except unbearable stress. — Marina Rose Martinez (@Marinaisgo) December...
Biological Determinist Shirts
For those who don’t know or who have forgotten: First of all, biological determinism suggests a level of knowledge we don’t currently have about humanity...
When nothing goes wrong
Him: “It’s only been a few days.” Me: “It’s been two years.” I’m so tired of my work. I take so much time and effort...
Jake and Jessica and Transgender Sex
Jake and Jessica fans may want to pay special attention to this rant, although it may be of interest to any and all of you,...
Organizational Love Triangle
In the last month, I have conceived of, and partially executed the creation of two organizations other than my own personal brand. Both of them...
Eat and Grow Fat: How to Be Happy
The thing about being insecure and unhappy, is that’s not a conditional reality. If you’re insecure and unhappy, you’re going to be insecure and unhappy...
Halloween 2014 Liveblog in Real Time
Hi, I’m liveblogging Halloween. You may know me from such liveblogs as Election Day 2012, Die Hard, and Night Traffic Court. 12:00 a.m. It is...
Your bank was dumb, I’m glad I left
Five years ago, I switched to a credit union. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. I was originally a Washington Mutual customer, and...
Good News: Your Dick is the Least Important Part of You
An anonymous reader requested that I talk a little bit about penis size. Namely, how very sad it is that porn seems to have made...
My Boyfriend is the God of Tricks – Review of “Liesmith”
Liesmith by Alis Franklin Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for the review copy Sigmund is a mild-mannered IT drone by day, and a mild-mannered...
Half of Design is Taking Out the Cum
They say that half of design is taking out the dicks and the swastikas. Anybody who works for milk, or milk-like products should add cum...
Cute Doggy is Happy Times
Your wish is my command
I died as I lived: with an Xbox controller in my hand.
I did my tours Friday and Saturday night, and worked a street fair for most of Sunday, but other than that, this has been my...
Two Fights a Night
After attending the last ever free Last Thursdays (starting in 2015, vendors will have to apply and pay a fee in order to participate in...
The Ballad of April O’Neil – Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Friend Lauren and I went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles today, and it was a whole lot better that I was thinking it would...
Come to Portland, Get Trash Thrown at You
I was minding my own damn business, walking my sweet, adorable dog, you guys know Pepper, but in case you don’t, here’s a refresher: I...
Verizon and The NFL Want You to Be That Guy.. That Rapey Fucking Guy
I’ve been catching up on my Teen Wolf, and part of that involves the MTV site and watching the same 4-8 commercials over and over...
Why I Stayed and What I Learned
It’s hard for me to talk about domestic violence, but not for the reasons you might think. Yeah, all the predictable reasons are there: Because...
Urban Fantasy for the Argumentative Soul – Interview with William Dooling
Today’s blog is an interview with urban fantasy writer William Dooling. Dooling has self-published his first novel Synchronicity on the Amazon marketplace for $3.99. I...
How to Talk to Shitty People
I was having a conversation today that reminded me I have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long...
In the absence of cat, the void becomes tangible
As I type this, I can’t believe it’s only Thursday. This week has simultaneously gone on forever and shot past me at lightening speed. For...
Okay, Let’s Talk About Suicide
So Henry Rollins got lambasted after tearing into Robin Williams for killing himself, for which he has already apologized in his Rollinsey way. And I...
Things I’ve Done Since Ben Left
THURSDAY worked, watched TV, slept FRIDAY Worked, watched TV, slept SATURDAY Worked, watched TV, slept SUNDAY Played video games, slept, watched TV MONDAY Worked, went...
Sounds Exhausting
It’s still too hot to contribute to society. Here’s a thing I found in a bathroom. Ben: Wow, you really pulled out all the stops...
The Tooth Window Conspiracy
Don’t worry. It’s not a trend in Portland. It’s a trend on the entire planet. This is just a stretched labret piercing that someone put...
How I Met Ben
The short answer is that I came home one night and he was in my bed. The much longer answer starts the day we moved...
Play The Mouth Music
I forgot to write a blog. Below is every synonym for cunnilingus in the Sex Lexis, a dictionary of sexual terms. clitorilingus, cunnilinctio, cunnilinction, cunnilincto,...
How to Talk to Cops So They (Probably) Won’t Kill You
Don’t yell at the cops, people. Don’t gesture at the cops. Don’t look cops in the eye. Cops are more scared of you than you...
We’re not big on the 4th of July
Welcome to July 20th. The day Southeast Portland finally, finally, ran out of fireworks.
Being Shitty to Service Staff Isn’t Liberal Activism
Wanna know how I know that you’ve never worked in retail? Because you do shit like this at the local Hobby Lobby: This is probably...
Forget Me Not – Review of the River Leith by Leta Blake
The River Leith by Leta Blake Thanks to NetGalley for the review copy. Out of my last four Netgalley books, The River Leith is the...
What a Woman Really Means When She Says…
Win at Fucking in 3 Easy Steps
A lot of people are insecure about their sexual prowess. They worry how their partners or potential partners will see them, how they will treat...
Shit with the Door Open: A Guide to Intimacy
Back when we were moving, our friends Big Ben and Charles came by to help us pack. During a break, we were all in the...
On Being Alone
I recently had a conversation with someone who told me they felt funny going to dinner or to the movies by themselves. When I told...
Everything Tastes Better Than Crazy Feels
Your wish is my command. But first: Regular readers know that I suffered from anorexia and bulimia between the ages of 11 and 13. I...
Writing Erotica for Fun and Profit Part Two
Back in January, I interviewed erotic book author Brock Wilder just as he was starting out. I knew a lot of you guys have aspirations...
5 Things Everyone Should Do to Overthrow the Gender Binary Right Now
1. Ditch all media that’s specifically made for your gender. 2. Look at yourself naked. Tell yourself you’re perfect just the way you are. 3....
Go Mimis*
Who’s got two thumbs and thought it would be a good idea to stay awake all night reading? This dumb bitch. I am a wreck....
Now is the Time to Turn and Fight: My Feelings on #YesAllWomen
I’ve been reluctant to participate in the #YesAllWomen thing, namely because my experience is not the experience that “all women” have. Yes, one in four...
Up From a Past: What I Owe To Maya Angelou
Just as there will always be people to tell you that you can’t do things, there will also be people who tell you that you...