holy fuck. i just woke up on the floor in the bathroom and everybody is asleep. wtf happened lmao
— amber (@possiblyBaeKap) November 28, 2014
No one tried to fuck the turkey this year. #blessed
— Gabriel Preciado (@gable222) November 28, 2014
JUST PRANKED MY DAD BY BASTING THE TURKEY IN CUM AND THEN WATCHED HIM EAT IT WHILE I JACKED MY DICK.
— Kerf Squad (@KerfSquad) November 28, 2014
First thing my grandma did when she saw me was pull her pants down and show me the hives on her ass #graphic
— Kailey (@kaileybeuerlein) November 28, 2014
And of course thanks giving night ends with my grandpa talking about anal sex after too many beers lol happy thanks giving everyone!
— Ciera Peterson (@whoisyomama) November 28, 2014
Playing catch phrase:
Mom: "brown thing you buy for your house!"
Grandma: "A nigga?"
(No she's not a racist)
— Nick Monsegur (@NickMonseg) November 28, 2014
"Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole fucking family, that's a real fucking problem"
— Jacques Cousteau (@uncle_hunt) November 28, 2014
The struggle is real.
I wanna get fucked in the ass by black cock so bad can meet I nc va tn wv area will pay
— José (@Curiouslygay) November 28, 2014
The perfect end to a perfect thanksgiving: Fucking a white guy for cash.
I'm thankful for my family, some friends//fuck the rest, my life, my happiness, the fact that I didn't lose my virginity to a 5 y/o hooker!
— victor (@MrVlogVic) November 28, 2014
That’s oddly specific.
I got caught sneaking turkey into my room
— Cayley (@Cayley_adtr182) November 28, 2014
I try to stay away from horrible people. With that being said, grandma you can FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU RACIST BITCH
— Ma ry s sa (@Maryssahhhh) November 28, 2014
i called her a bitch right in front of her tits
— Jacob Gwin (@JacobGwinYo) November 28, 2014
Nothing quite makes a thanksgiving weekend successful like drinking enough to only come home with one shoe #TurkeyDay
— B0B (@CheddarBOB_baby) November 28, 2014
Fuck got cum in my hair #regrets
— Dan Gibbons (@Gibba_14) November 28, 2014
last time I went Black Friday shopping someone threw up on me so yeah it's not happening again
— S (@sarahfaraonee) November 28, 2014
Yes, but was the throw up half off?
Some cunt tried to fight me tonight, he's now dead, fuck off
— Alexrulz37 (@jerryjackson_) November 28, 2014
Well, that escalated quickly.
This thanksgiving we explained to my mom what a butt plug is.
— Kayla (@whayyla) November 28, 2014
My grandma made my uncle eat on the front porch alone because he made a racist joke ????????????????
— K e l l i (@_kelli_norris) November 28, 2014
For every racist Thanksgiving grandma…
Happy Thanksgiving!???????? pic.twitter.com/Ck31XQRIhb
— ??9? (@Eat_My_Cum_lol) November 28, 2014
Ah yes, the traditional Thanksgiving blunt.
My uncles so drunk his fake teeth fell out LMFAO ????????
— Erik Martinez (@erik_m22) November 28, 2014
My great grandmother called my boyfriend a cracker. Yeap, that's my grandma !
— Kayla Danaé (@TheRealOddOne) November 28, 2014
Somebody just pulled a gun on somebody else in Walmart over a TV. #BlackFriday 🙂
— Savannah (@candy2000997) November 28, 2014
Only had to call 911 once today! A successful Thanksgiving.
— Ryan Faulk (@RyanJFaulk) November 28, 2014
Yay?
I'll finger fuck you under the table at a restaurant then lick my fingers when I'm done, I don't give a fuck.
— Rochelle H. (@OhhhRochelle) November 28, 2014
I don’t think this was necessarily Thanksgiving themed, but good to know.
Cousin Jim came out of the closet at the thanksgiving table…again. 3rd year in a row.
— Scott Chapman (@scottchapman50) November 28, 2014
Aint nothing like getting high with other people's uncles on thanksgiving.
— justine. (@sch_mittens) November 28, 2014
My sister announced her pregnancy, my mom and aunt got in a fist fight, and my cousin came out of the closet. I love holidays
— ?Jooshuua? (@Jojojoshuua) November 28, 2014
I'm an adult and I read fanfiction on my phone under the table during Thanksgiving dinner.
— Kelli Erin (@ohplzkelli) November 28, 2014
That’s one way to avoid talking about politics.
Another Thanksgiving ruined because I tried to fuck the gravy
— Aidan (@4eversincelunch) November 28, 2014
So my sister just came out of the closet to me in the middle of a Black Friday line..
— •Mindfulness• (@WKD999) November 28, 2014
“Hey, 60% off flat screens! By the way, I am 100% off dudes.”
My grandma just called her boyfriend Papi ???????????????? ayyyyy get it
— Tabitha (@Princess_TabTab) November 27, 2014
So the news was just on and they were talking about a lady that called 911 because her dog was stuck in the turkey and couldn't get out….
— Laughing Jill (@ImLaughingJill) November 27, 2014
My uncle that stabbed my other uncle is here, but he found God now so he's good smfh
— ThinkAdrian (@ElQueSab3_) November 27, 2014
Because God never told anyone to stab anyone else.
My uncle has pulled a gun out at Thanksgiving two years in a row but sadly his tuxedo tshirt didn't make a three peat
— jesse ginn (@Tonic_and_Ginn) November 27, 2014
Conversations with my drunk, racist grandma with alzheimer's is always an adventure
— Odell Beckham, Jr. (@johnomalley04) November 27, 2014
I may or may not have just low key stabbed my mom
— ? (@Ellie_grace_98) November 27, 2014
Low key, tho.
My grandma is now making borderline racist comments to strangers. Happy Thanksgiving… #blessed #toosober
— That EMT guy (@ThatEMT) November 27, 2014
my uncle just pulled a gun out on my cousins these niggas snapping..
— B?B (@blackpapi___) November 27, 2014
Racist Grandma Comment #2: "You know the Zodiac killer was white because he hasn't been caught."
I don't even know man.
— Kevin O'Connor (@KevinOConnorr) November 27, 2014
can't wait for thanksgiving dinner ???? pic.twitter.com/J9xC8sV2Qg
— jackie (@jacqueIine) November 27, 2014
And the traditional pot of boiling dildos.