2013 Year in Review

Good news everyone, 2013 has been an awesome year for the blog, and it’s all because of you guys.

In 2013 our total hits are up from 32,000 in 2012 to 76,000 in 3013, with the most popular months being July (9,400 views), and February (9,100 views), and the least popular months being April (3,900), and May (5,000).

The first (and only post) to generate more than 5,000 views in a day was Prices of Organic Food at Three Major Supermarkets on Feb. 4, 2013. That is by far the most popular post written in 2013. No other day even broke 2,000.

The 5 most popular posts in the year 2013 were:

  1. Female Masturbation Techniques – January 2010 (back on top after spending 2012 at number 9)
  2. Prices of Organic Food at Three Major Supermarkets – February, 2013
  3. Hickey Cover-up Tutorial – May, 2011 (up from number 12)
  4. What If Your Mother Had Aborted You, No Really, What If She Had? – July, 2013
  5. Decent Gay Erotica – October, 2013

You’ll notice that, of the posts written this year, the top two are written in February and July, also my most popular months, although the post popularity and month popularity are flipped. This follows a trend that my blog seems to have always had, where one or two posts generate the majority of the clicks, leaving a much lower number of regular readers. I’m not sure if other bloggers have this experience as well, especially to the extent that I do, where a post from 2011, the female masturbation post, is actually responsible for nearly 20% of all my traffic this year.

In fact, the top four search terms that lead people to the blog are: “female masturbation techniques,” “masturbation techniques,” “masturbation techniques for women,” and “female masturbation technique.” The fifth is “theaterdare,” which has been a top search term since at least 2012, when it was the number three term. Apparently it is a genre of porn where people are “dared” to fuck “strangers” in a porno theater. As if porno theaters are even still things.


More blog facts:

  • In a repeat from last year, Reddit, Facebook and Twitter generated the majority of my traffic in that order.
  • The majority of you come from the United States, with the United Kingdom and Canada running a distant second and third.
  • More than 60% of you are between the ages of 18 and 34, and slightly more than half of you are male.
  • The most popular browser used to view this site was Chrome, followed by Safari and Firefox. However, 2,000 of you are still using Internet Explorer. I beg you, stop hurting yourself. There are people who care about you. Please click here to download Chrome. It’ll change your life, I swear it.
*Note that I didn’t start monitoring site traffic until February of 2012

As you can see on the graph, I ended 2013 better than I started, with 4,300 pageviews in January and 6,800 pageviews in December, but I didn’t experience the same consistently upward mobility that I had in 2012.

I wonder if this represents a leveling out of the readership, or just that a larger readership is harder to mobilize. Not that the group is really that large, even with all our growth. The vast majority of my visitors only ever come to the the site once. After removing the outliers, and accounting for weekends, my math suggests that I have about 100 regular readers. I friend more than three times that many people on Facebook and six times that follow me on Twiiter. So when I say that the people who read this blog are basically my closest friends, I’m not fucking around. You guys obviously know me better than anybody else, and, based on some of the shit I write on here, you probably love me more than anybody else if you’re still here.

Last December, I wrote about what I wanted in 2013, namely to make more money as a freelancer (at the time I had a full time job), and to get at least a little closer to moving to Oregon. Both of which have happened. Not necessarily in the way I thought they would, but for better or for worse, I’m now making 100% of my income from freelancing (bye unemployment, you guys were dicks and I hated dealing with you), and we’re fully focused on Oregon being our next move. It’s nowhere near a sure thing, but we might be moving as soon as March. We’re shooting for Portland, but we’re not picky. So if you hear of anybody looking for a blogger who specializes in swears, hook me up.

A note on the numbers: Everything was rounded up to the top two numerals. So 9,227 became 9,200 and 32,907 became 33,00 for the sale of legibility.