I asked twitter for inspiration, and it came.
charliewarhol: @Marinaisgo the truth about feminazis
Feminazis are people that claim to be feminists, but are actually short-sighted, mean-spirited dicks. A feminazi is just an asshole, and assholes are everywhere. This can be terrible, because the truth is that nowhere is safe from them, not even a so-called ‘safe space,’ like the one that many feminists try to create and uphold. But it can also be a good thing because assholes like the feminazis don’t care who they hate. The truth about a feminazi is that she is an insecure person who needs to impose irrational rules on other people in order to protect herself and her ego. The people she directs her hate at have nothing to do with her or her beliefs or her morals, only her insecurity and her ego. A feminazi is only here ruining feminism because of sheer coincidence. If she’d had a different experience, she’d be somewhere else, imposing another kind of fundamentalism on those poor people. Every group has an asshole that tries to impose judgment on others for not adhering to a set of rules that she has made up and tries to enforce, no matter how much this hurts the group or the individuals in it.
The other truth about feminazis is that we all most likely support one, or have supported one at one time or another. Maybe not in feminism, but in our own communities and lives. People like to blame the asshole for making everything suck, but who keeps them around? Who keeps feeding them when they need that attention (negative or positive)? And more importantly, the feminazi is only pushing the rules that we ourselves make. Feminists create a hostile environment for men. That’s the truth. We discerning feminists just don’t say it out loud like those assholes do. Feminists create ‘safe spaces’ that are women only spaces, and the rest of us support them by not challenging that. Feminists make domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse a women-only issue and the rest of us support that by towing the line when it comes down to it. Feminists give lip service to the sexes begin equal, but instead we have started a competition against men.
The result of thousands of years of inequality in most parts of the globe is that today it’s easier to work towards inequality in our favor than equity in everyone’s favor. There will always be inequality in the world, but the concept of treating another person equitably is very new, and we’re still working out the kinks. Just when we think that we’ve got this feminism thing down, it turns out that middle class white women are running the show and making it difficult for women of color and working class women. Then it’s the queer women who get the short end of the stick, then the transwomen and transmen. And in every single faction, women of color, working class women, queers and transpeople there is a new brand of asshole trying to dictate who can do or say what, when, where and why, and if we’re not the asshole, than we’re their support.
This is a lot of the reason that I’ve shied away from activism over the last several years. Instead, I support where I feel I can–mostly with donations or phone banking–and stay away the rest of the time. In my daily life I try to be respectful and kind, and not impose my rules on other people. There are a lot of responses to other-ness that are ingrained in us by society, so it can be difficult to always be equitable and fair in all my actions, but I suppose that the best one can do is to try.