I asked Twitter what I should blog about, and this is what I got:
diamondmanaphy: @marinaisgo Have you ever gone through a break up without first having the relationship?
Not that I know of, but I think I know what you’re talking about. I’ve been through friend break-ups that might as well have been romantic break ups, and I’ve been through romantic breakups that might has well have been a lunch order. I remember a guy I had been hooking up with for several months told me some dramatic crap about how I was going to be great someday and left my house in a sulk. I didn’t know until I heard he was getting married to someone else that he’d broken up with me that day. But I’ve been through friend break-ups with girls that dragged on, involved crying, late nights and comfort eating. Basically every sick convention of young romance has happened to me, except with female BFFs that weren’t really FF, if you know what I mean. Ultimately I think that was probably safer for me because if I had all that drama along with a sexual relationship, I think I would be a basket-case. Well, more of a basket-case at any rate
ThereminJelly @Marinaisgo Ways you wouldn’t want to die?
Sometimes I think I want to go fast so I won’t have to suffer. Other times I think I’d like to be able to prepare and get my things in order, make peace and say goodbye. I haven’t had a lot of people dye in my life, so I’m not familiar with death. I wouldn’t want to die in a hospital, and I wouldn’t want to die suffering or in a panic. Obviously I wouldn’t want to die at the hands of another person, and I don’t want to die young. My definition of “”young” changes with every birthday I have. I’ll probably be 90 and still worried about dying young.
Having spent a lot of time trying to ‘swim’ as a very young child, I know that drowning is really pleasant at a certain point. At first, you’re panicked, but then as the brain starts to be deprived of oxygen, everything seems really beautiful and comfortable. I have a distinct memory of being surrounded by water and light thinking “this is so nice.”