Things Left to Do

I find that the posts for Monday and Wednesday are the hardest to get out. You’d think that Monday would be easy with the entire weekend in front of it, but there’s no routine on the weekend and I end up letting time slip by me entirely undetected until 10:30 Sunday night, which is where I’m writing this from right now. Wednesday’s posts is usually a What I Wore, because I get up at 6 a.m. to walk the dog and have basically no break from work, dinner, meeting and driving home until about at least 10:30 at night. I had planned to take time out of today especially to write something interesting, work on one of the drafts I have brewing back there, or maybe make some more headway in my detective story, but instead I got so violently nauseous that all I could do was lie on my stomach in the dark listening to my audiobook. All things considered, that was actually probably good for me since, even last Monday when I was sick, I didn’t stop puttering around the house and doing shit, my brain wouldn’t let me relax. So, this is all I have to offer, and it’s not going to be much because my incredibly attractive boyfriend is naked in my bed in the other room, and I have a deep interest in being there with him.

• The dentist was less awful than I worried it would be, although that really wasn’t hard. They numbed me to the gills, and while it still did hurt at some points, it was more a dull ache than the excruciating horror I’m sure it would have been. At one point in the deep cleaning, I made the mistake of opening my eyes and saw that big scary hook poised above me, covered in blood with a chunk of something (real talk) hanging off it above my mouth. That image remained imprinted on the back of my eyelids for the next 45 minutes while I could hear and feel the hygienist scraping painfully at my mouth. When it was over, she tried to stand between me and the pile of bloody gauze sitting on her tray, but she was very thin. Surprisingly, I didn’t freak out. I guess I was just too tired. Although, my one dental-related freak out is widely known. They all remember my name, and smile sadly at me, and last time another hygienist even complimented me on how much better I’ve gotten. I guess if you open big, everybody’s just grateful you’re no longer crying and hyperventilating at them.

• Grandma’s Ex-BF’s 30 days were up last Thursday, and my uncle went to the house with the police to check on the property. One of the doors had been left open for the finicky cat to get in and out through, and it freaked the cops out so they cleared the whole house with their guns drawn. Thankfully, there was nothing there, except for some messiness and a couple of things left behind. Friends of friends say GXBF is settled in a new place, so that’s good.

• Mom’s first round of chemo is done. Her doctors are going to do a scan to see what the next round will entail. They feel strongly that there will definitely be a next round, but it sounded like they’re optimistic nonetheless.

• I’ve been a little embarrassed over how much recovery time I seem to need right now, but it’s kind of been two straight months of little stresses, kicked off by the massive stress of Grandma’s hip surgery, hospitalization, and break-up. It’s hard for me to go easy on myself, even when I do the right thing and take some rest, I feel guilty about it and end up causing more stress by beating myself up over taking the rest. Thankfully, I’m finally feeling like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. This weekend and last weekend of no commitments and no expectations on myself have been really helpful.

In short:

Oh, and here’s a cute picture of our cat. With all the Pepper-mania, she’s been left out a little bit. Although that’s kind of on her since she refuses to get near the dog, who’s never done anything to her and actively ignores her when they do accidentally get next to each other.

I guess that ended up being a lot longer then I expected. Anyway, goodnight.