The weekend that fail built. Also anxiety.

Ben and I both attempted the PPHS dating sim game jam this weekend. And we both failed to complete our games. Turns out these things take a lot longer to put together than either of us imagined.

It was still fun though, at least I got to write a story and learn how a game engine works. I’m actually surprised I’m not more disappointed in my inability to finish. Maybe I’m lightening up.

More like the crazy is in another castle.

Saturday morning, I agreed to plan an 80th birthday BBQ for my grandma with my mom and uncle. That probably sounds totally innocuous… if you’ve never read my blog before.

The last “family” event that included my mom featured her having a screaming tantrum in the restaurant followed by another screaming tantrum at grandma’s house, followed by a violent fit in which she tried to punch out the windows of my boyfriend’s car. So far there’s been no major dramatics, except that mom thought a nice gift for us to all “go in on” would be a $250-300 wi-fi/tablet/bluetooth/audible subscription combo that I could buy and she could “write me a check for later.”

I can’t tell if you think I’m actually that dumb, or if you’re just that special kind of dull where you think you’re smarter than everybody else.

Of course I’m not buying grandma $300 bucks worth of frustrating new technology that mom will probably “borrow” from her and not return. She already has a TV she can’t work, a Wii she never plays and a computer my uncle uses to check his email on. Instead I invested in a new grill for the BBQ and so that she can enjoy us coming over and grilling for her now that the weather is warmer.

Needless to say, Saturday night was spent not sleeping but laying uncomfortably in a sweaty heap, only to pop up feeling like my heart was pounding out of my chest every time I did start to drift off. Around 3:30 a.m. I was finally exhausted enough that when it happened that time, I had no idea what was going on. My whole body was vibrating and I immediately thought that Pepper was munching on her butt, which she’s not allowed to do on the bed because it does actually shake the whole thing, and it’s fucking gross.

When I found that, not only was the dog not the problem, she was so deep asleep that when I picked up her tiny head it just thunked back down on on the comforter. Then I thought she might be dead. My panic woke up Ben, who was completely freaked out for about 5 seconds before he went straight back to snoring. Eventually I determined that the dog was, in fact, breathing so I laid back down. After that I only woke up a couple of times, but the panic had passed.

A lady in the elevator at work the other day told me I should take magnesium supplements. Maybe this was all just a lack of magnesium.

Anyway, I woke up with a sore throat, a cough, and a feeling like it’s still kind of hard to breath. Today I went out to breakfast with Ben and did the final planning for grandma’s party, but I spent the rest of the day in bed. I’m pretty sure the only thing I accomplished is that now in addition to the other symptoms my back hurts.

This is bullshit.

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