What if I told you I’d set you up on the most amazing blind date, and my description of the man in question (you enjoy men in this scenario, just go with it) is as follows:
He is a divorced, pinkie ring wearing 50 year-old who has been engaged a minimum of three separate times, has two children, 13 tattoos and an absolute inability to grow a beard, paired with a stubborn instance on trying.
You would probably be horrified. But then…
Bam.
Sorry, that was a dirty rhetorical trick. But what if I told you that somewhere out there a girl who crawled her way up from the very bottom of this wonderful and terrible pile of filth we call humanity, is determined to make good content for you, regardless of how little sense it makes or how dirty the rhetoric gets?
The difference between a divorced retiree with a touch of the alcoholism and a fine-aged hottie bad boy is just confidence. And millions of dollars.
The moral of this story is: have confidence and stupid people will sleep with you. This is also why some knowledge of basic logic is helpful in life. Without the ability to reason independently, you may find yourself in the company of people for whom their own unwavering opinion is the only one that matters.
Hold on. This was supposed to be an endorsement of confidence. Both in life and business dealings. How did I end up acting like the very thing I believe in is the stupid choice? I’ve been watching far too much 30 Rock. That Liz Lemon is so damn captivating.
Anyway, I thought of this when I was watching Queen Latifa’s Last Holiday, something I often do in times of uncertainty. (Because you just have to grab your dreams, fat girl!) And it occurred to me: the difference between failure and success is confidence. If Queen’s character Georgia hadn’t been given that faulty brain scan, she would never have had the confidence to stand up for what she believed in, grab life by the nutsack and thrive.
And I just fell asleep. So that’s me done.