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JAM Live Music Arcade: For Music Lovers Only

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JAM Live Music Arcade is a music creation game from Reverb Publishing/505 Games available for $9.99 on XBOX Live Arcade and Playstation Network. 32 tracks cover the spectrum of musical genres ranging from up and coming indie artists to chart toppers like Modest Mouse, Atmosphere and Owl City. JAM Music Arcade lets the player deconstruct and recreate songs through an interactive and intuitive graphic interface and also features a standard see-and-then-do mode. In JAM mode, the player is rewarded for their creative use of musical elements and off-book stylings. In Arcade mode, the player follows a Guitar Hero style guide to produce songs element by element.

The first time you play JMLA, only the JAM mode is unlocked. In order to play with your first track, you have to successfully navigate the tutorial, which lays out the mixing board style interface for the new player. 5 different bays belong to a different musical element: drums, bass, guitar, synth, vocals, and sometimes FX, and each instrument has 5 elements, one for each of the 5 keys of the guitar. The game can be played on a gamepad, but the tutorials are geared towards the guitar controller, and I really think it would be a lot more difficult to navigate from a gamepad.

In JAM Mode, the game will synthesize a colorful background

Players used to Guitar Hero, will notice that JAM turns the guitar into a much more dynamic controller. Using a combination of up-strum for on, down-strum for off, the different keys for different bays and elements, and even the whammy bar later on in the game to switch from board to board, JAM is easy to learn so players don’t spend a lot of time trying to remember the rules.

As for gameplay itself, we’re really looking at two different games. JAM mode, where the player uses the mixing board to add and subtract each element of a known track to create and record a completely musical remix, and Arcade Mode where the song is already playing and the player has to work to keep up and imitate the elements in the track before time runs out.

JAM mode was my personal favorite mode. I lost time playing in Jam Mode. There was actually a point where the sun had set and I didn’t even notice it. One moment it was light outside, the next I was sitting in a dark living room, with a plastic guitar in my lap, and my legs had fallen asleep from being crossed on the couch for unknown hours.

Another example of the colorful backgrounds generated in JAM Mode

I’ve always loved music, and making music. I was a band in high school for about 6 weeks. I think we had ‘practice’ about 2 times and I never met the drummer. We were Metallica inspired, but that’s probably because the only songs we played were Metallica songs. I want to say our name was Mystic Spiral, but I’m pretty sure that’s actually the name of Jane’s brother Trent’s band in Daria. The problem with Mystic Spiral, or was it Warrior? Anyway, the problem with the band is that we sucked. Also, none of us had cars so we had to take the bus with all our instruments or get our moms to drive us. But the reason we really sucked is that music is hard. Even if a person has an aptitude, which 5 years of violin practice have taught me I don’t have, it takes years to master even a single instrument. With music simulators like JAM, you’re on a highway to awesome in the time it takes to pass the tutorial. Finally, I can rise to the heights that my crappy Metallica cover band once could only dream about.

I was entranced by this game, however, the idea of scoring was pretty much a joke. I had no idea how to score points, except that switching tracks on a beat got me something, all other points were basically a surprise for everyone involved. The tutorial didn’t seem altogether helpful either. It mentioned switching tracks on a beat, and how the number of times you switch tracks on a beat will grant you higher and higher scores, and it mentioned something about ‘good use’ of elements, but who in the world knows what that means in this day in age. Some of the synth pop songs I thought I was messing up on all over the place, but when I went back to the track select menu, they sounded like a seizure anyway.

Which leads me to music. Aforementioned synth-pop aside, I love just about every track on this game. And my favorite part about it is that most of them are from artists I’d probably never have heard of if it wasn’t for this game. Some of these guys are so indy they’re post-indy. Nick Africano doesn’t even have a website. I mean, nickafricano.net is a thing that exists, but all that’s there is a placeholder trying to pass itself off as a maintenance page. His only album was released May 1 of this year, just 15 days before JAM’s release. Incidentally, Nick’s album is $9.99 on itunes (where it only has 2 ratings, this is how underground this guy is), the same price you would pay for this game. Yeah, there’s only 1 track from him on there, but there’s 31 other tracks by new and familiar artists, some of which are sure to find themselves into your musical repertoire. I especially like the selection of hip hop they’ve collected. It’s definitely different from anything you’ll hear on the radio today. Long story short: this game has hipster cred.

Now that I’ve gushed about JAM Mode, I have to come down on the Arcade Mode. In the way that the board layout and element choice make Jam mode so free-flowing and creative, it makes Arcade Mode into a nightmare. The developers didn’t simplify any of the controls, or even the boards when they made Arcade Mode, which makes it really difficult, but on top of that, they added a tetris-style moving horizon for when you mess up and miss a key combo. For every combo the player misses, the drop point for the key combo slides one notch closer to the spawn point. When you get a combo right, the span point moves one notch back to it’s original place until it stays there, but if you get another wrong, it drops back down. There are about 10 notches in which the player can make mistakes and then it’s game over. In a three minute song, I never made it past the 40 second mark. The only person I can think of who would enjoy this horrible torture is the Guitar Hero player who plays the Dragonforce song on expert and yawns the whole way through.

In Arcade Mode, the player mimics the combo on the screen in order to play the song.

Overall, I had so much fun with JAM Mode, that the unplayable nature of Arcade Mode is almost a non-issue, especially for $9.99.

When I was writing this, I did some research on the game and saw that a lot of reviewers were giving it horrible reviews. One even pronounced the entire music game genre “dead,” and used this game as an example of its corpse. Dramatic much? I think the gamers pronouncing this a stinker are not the audience for this game anyway. They’re expecting Guitar Hero style points racking with clearly defined skill levels based on obvious goals, and this isn’t that. It’s a musical playground for people who find themselves fascinated with sound and creating something beautiful out of sound. This is a game for people who never get Guitar Hero because they’re too used to their real guitar, people who make up drum solos for the songs on the radio, people who get asked “where’s that song from?” and say “I don’t know” when the truth is it’s from them.

I’m giving this game a 7 out of 10 because it’s not really a game, it’s a synth toy. But it’s a really good synth toy for $9.99. Points added for music selection, points off for Arcade Mode.

The Xbox 360 version of this title was provided for review by Reverb Publishing.

Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat Review

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Spike TV once had a show called Deadliest Warrior which ran from April 7, 2009 to September 14, 2011, in which the hosts of the show pitted one warrior from history against another in a quest to find the deadliest warrior of all time.

Obviously, they’re not accounting for the nuclear age, because I’m going to go ahead and say I know whose stick is the biggest (its ours – America!)

Deadliest Warrior spawned two Xbox Live DLC games, Deadliest Warrior: The Game in which the player fights as different types of warriors throughout history (ninja, viking, knight, etc.), and Deadliest Warrior: Legends in which the player fights different military historical figures (Alexander the Great, Shaka Zulu, Joan of Arc, etc.) Both Deadliest Warrior: The Game and Deadliest Warrior: Legends cost 800 Microsoft points, or $10.00 each. Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat combines those two games with a couple of extras for $29.99. Personally, I found nothing of interest in Deadliest Warrior: The Game. It’s not as good as Legends, and not as interesting. I played it an appropriate amount to review it, but every bit of fun I’ve had with this game has been with Deadliest Warrior: Legends. If I were in the market for a historical fighting sim, I’d easily plunk down $10.00 for Deadliest Warrior Legends and leave the box and the first game to their separate fates.

To be honest, I was totally going to give this game a 4 out of 10 and say that it was a mediocre fighting game inspired by a mediocre TV show (believe me, I tried to love this show better, I wanted it to be great but it was med-i-ocre), and that it’s only saving grace is that it beat the games-made-from-other-media spread by only being just as mediocre as its inspiration and not 10 times worse, like every other franchise title on the market. That is, of course, until ZOMBIE MODE!

Move over whipp-its, there’s a new party drug in town, and it’s called Deadliest Warrior Ancient Combat/Legends Zombie Mode.

Concept art for Attila the Hun, Hernan Cortes and Sun Tzu

In Legends, you can play as your favorite historical warrior. I chose Joan of Arc, because she has both the reach and the flexibility – also the vagina – that I look for in an avatar. You get little historical facts about the character as you play through as them, which is nice. The characters also have vocalizations before and after a match which are usually quotes attributed to them, but not always. For example, I’m pretty sure Genghis Khan never said “so little time, so much to conquer,” but I am just as sure Joan of Arc did say “act and God will act.”

The single player campaign is fairly intuitive with 3 different difficulty settings, as well as practice rounds if you so desire. The settings are pretty and interactive, my favorite one(s) being where you can hurtle your opponent to their death with a well timed shove. The character detail is generally good, and the bloodwork is fittingly gorey.

Hannibal and Shaka Zulu face off in Deadliest Warrior: Legends

When it comes to multiplayer, things get a little tricky. Not least of which is the fact that there is no one, and I mean no one online playing this game. Over the course of my review I tried several different times to find a live match, to no avail. There were no players. Something I learned while playing local multiplayer is that projectiles are absolutely insane. One headshot with an arrow will completely end you, and if you’re opponent is fast enough on the uptake, it can happen in the first milliseconds seconds of gameplay. It’s the Deadliest Warrior version of legsweep legsweep legsweep legsweep.

In addition to the fighting game, Legends has a Risk-esque board game/fighting game combo called Generals that is completely useless in my eyes. Then again, I hate Risk. If you love Risk, and only wished that there were small breaks between troop movements in order to battle your opponent to the death video game style, then you are in luck because this was made just for you.

Now, back to the reason I love this game and think you should buy it and play it with your friends: zombie mode. If I were the type of 20-something I wanted to be when I grew up I would have the type of friends who would come over for margaritas and we would talk about all the people we went to college with and play this game and laugh and laugh. But since I’m totally not who I wanted to be when I grew up, I don’t talk to anybody I went to college with (except the boyfriend,) and I live in a neighborhood that people are afraid to park in – in fact there’s been a ghetto ass shouting match going on outside my window since I started writing this review 30 minutes ago that has absolutely no signs of letting up, I played local multiplayer in my underwear with the aforementioned boyfriend. Who, might I add, reluctantly gave up cleaning the office to play this game with me – that’s how low my opinion of it was until zombie mode came along. First of all, any game that you can keep playing without your head is a fabulous addition to my life, let me tell you. Secondly, it’s hilarious and that’s awesome.

Zombie mode: where all your dreams come true

Anyway, in zombie mode things like broken or missing limbs or heads make little to no difference in your ability to keep living, which is great fun. Blood sprays everywhere, the zombie legends are already just red balls of agonized raw flesh anyway, and you can keep fighting literally until you are on your last leg. Ever watch a one-armed Joan of Arc chase a single Shaka Zulu leg around a tower turret in a circle yelling “hah … aaaa.. hah hah” as she jumps after the solitary leg and misses time and again? No. And that’s why you need this game.

Like I said, if I had any friends I’d make this game a part of a friend gathering. It’s fun to play and fun to watch. I got to sit mostly naked on my couch today and shout “try and catch me ya! ha! waaaa!” While my boyfriend laughed and laughed. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? The laughter. And the nudity.

In conclusion: Don’t buy the box, but do go download Deadliest Warrior: Legends for some super fun zombie warrior action that will take your mind off the fact that your neighborhood is sub-par, your house doesn’t have air conditioning and somebody just called the cops because you can hear sirens in the distance. Overall, 6 out of 10. Points off for costing three times as much as you actually need to pay to have awesome zombie mode fun.

Rating 6/10

Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat for XBOX 360 was provided for review by 345 Games.

Skyrim: Initial Thoughts

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Skyrim promotional image of the hero standing on a cliff overlooking a snow covered valley

So remember about 5 months ago when everybody was talking about this great new game called Skyrim and wandering around saying things like “I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow in the knee” (maybe that was just in my house.) Well, I finally got on-board this week. You can call me whatever you want, just don’t call me on time for dinner.

Initially, what struck me is that Skyrim is a damn good looking videogame. I leveled my character up from 0 to 12 in one weekend, which seemed really fast for me. Especially since I stared at the TV so hard, I broke a blood vessel in my eye and had to tell everyone at work on Monday that it was allergies. (Allergic to not playing Skyrim!)

Combat isn’t as satisfying as in other games like Mass Effect and Fable. I do love the slow-down cut scenes in which you ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MURDER dudes, but I wish there were more than two versions. Although maybe there are more, and I’m just not good enough to see them yet. That wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t like that the aiming sights have to be focused on your opponent to hit them, and there’s no snap-targeting that I can tell. The fact that my controller had a derpy right thumb stick is no help at all.

What I really love is that I spent basically the entire weekend playing and I’ve barely scratched the surface of this game. Just walk in any direction and you will experience amazing views, and random game-play along the way. I wish there was some way to run faster or summon a horse like in Red Dead Redemption (sweet merciful God that was a useful feature.) I know you can buy a horse, but I hear they’re pretty stupid and if you accidentally leave them in some random place, they’ll stay there forever and unless you can find them, you won’t be seeing them again.

One thing that really bothers me is the companions sense of personal space. This always seems to be a hard trick for game developers, but in Skyrim it’s the worst I’ve seen in years. If I walk into a small room, they crowd in after me and then I can’t get out. It you’re struggling to navigate a small space or tight turn, the companion takes this opportunity to cuddle up to you and can literally push your character in the direction they’re going. I also dislike the fact that you can permanently kill you companion dead if you hit them in combat, but I love that the enemy can’t kill your companion dead no matter what.

I have a lot more playing to do before I form a concrete opinion about the game, but so far it’s going very well. At this rate, it might take weeks to even explore the whole map, let along progress the plot much. The realness and the details of the universe are definitely perks.

Audiobook Review: The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog

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The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook
by Bruce D. Perry (Author), Maia Szalavitz (Author), Danny Campbell (Narrator)

This book was so fascinating that I dropped all my other podcasts and shows in order to listen to nothing but it from start to finish. I consistently found myself rewinding to catch things I’d missed. Everyone that’s seen me in the last 3 days has heard about this book. It is because of my own personal experience with childhood trauma that “The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog” caught my eye, but you don’t have to have a history of abuse in order to find Dr. Perry and his work as compelling as I did.

This book is relevant to anyone who was ever a child and anyone who plans to raise children. Perry’s simple explanations, and memorable associations really helped me grasp the subject matter. For example, your developing brain is built like a thumbs-down fist, each finger matures at a different rate and requires different stimuli. After making this association, Perry would refer to the “fingers” of the brain throughout the book, helping me to visualize his subject.

The stories of these amazing children are riveting, and touching, and illuminating. From what I had previously thought I’d known about the brain, I was worried that the book would be little more than a freak show of irreparably damaged children and eventually adults, touched by the bony finger of neglect; disfigured mentally and physically by their relatively brief early trauma for the remaining years of their difficult and joyless lives. Fortunately, I was wrong about the brain. It seems that, while there are some things a person can’t retrieve from the jaws of serious damage, the brain will work to repair its self, and with proper stimulation, recover almost miraculously.

Perry talks about coming into the field of child psychology at a time when the official psychiatric belief was that children don’t suffer from trauma. If a child was molested, abused, or experienced the death of a parent, any significant change in behavior after that was considered to be purely coincidental.

As a child of the eighties, I came of age with the backlash from that incorrect assumption. The message I got growing up was that people who suffered abuse as children have been irreparably damaged. Forever broken on a foundational level, childhood trauma sufferers were doomed to a life of degradation.

A lot of people who find themselves in abusive relationships, or who have a history of abuse rewrite their stories rather than admit that they’re “that kind of person.” Violence, neglect and molestation don’t have a “type.” Childhood trauma has happened to every different kind of kid, with every different type of personality and in every different sort of home in the world. If you are currently living in fear for your safety, or if you ever have, you’re that “type.” I’m that type.

What I like about “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog” is that it highlights just how much recovery the brain can make. It sends a clear message to and for those of us who felt that we would always be broken: the brain is amazing, your brain is amazing. Extreme childhood abuse and neglect has clearly left it’s mark on these children, and yet many of them make wonderful recoveries and are able to have and create the kind of social network that sustains mental health over time.

Dr. Perry confirmed something that I have long suspected on my own. Being in a 12 step program has shown me that massive recovery is possible with the right input and a strong social network. Human beings are amazing, and nothing can keep you down if you don’t want to be down. Damage takes time to repair, but nobody can break you if you get the help you need, and make the choice to not be broken.

Book Review: Drowning Ruth

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Drowning Ruth by Christina Schwarz

I received this book at a white-elephantesque book exchange Ben’s family has started doing for the holidays. As a new tradition, it’s suffering from a bit of an identity crisis. It may be about getting rid of books you’d rather not have company see in your house, but it also might be about sharing books that you think people might like. Currently, it’s kind of both.

First of all, I’ve always associated the “Oprah’s Book Club” seal with anti-feminist, melodramatic housewife schlock that a reader of my social and intellectual standing couldn’t possibly enjoy, or at least couldn’t possibly enjoy in public. Unlike my secret, shameful love for murder mysteries, I have no affection whatsoever for womanly family dramas. So I was interested to see if I would even finish the book.

Maybe it’s because I had such low expectations when I started reading “Drowning Ruth,” or maybe it’s because I was on a family vacation with a family whose main pastime is reading, but I cut though this book in a matter of days. Every time I would start to get bored with the characters, or the scene, someone would appear or something would change that would pull me back in. This book is a page-turner without question.

Even before I learned that this was a first novel, I could tell from the almost mechanical way in which Schwarz works her transitions. In my experience, first novels universally carry this trait, and it’s almost a requirement for a freshman novelist to have difficulty constructing transitions. Though this book carries a lot of them, I felt that rather than clunking, the multiple transitions in the novel took on a pleasant clicking quality, like a familiar kitchen clock. Schwarz moves back and forth in time, as well as back and forth between characters–mostly Ruth and her aunt Amanda. Sometimes the narrative is first-person and sometimes it is third. I know some people take issue with this sort of voice-changing, but I never have. I felt that it was helpful in showing detail and in setting the scene.

One thing that the first person sections could have done, but didn’t, was bring the reader to a greater knowledge of Ruth and Amanda as people. Instead they remain poorly developed cut-outs on and around which the complicated plot hangs and gathers. The characters in “Drowning Ruth” do and say things so that the story can move forward, but I had a hard time figuring out what, if any, consequences they suffered for their actions. Both Amanda and Ruth experience some fairly damaging psychological trauma, but they both seem fine when the crisis is over, even if it lasted a year or more. When Schwarz needs them back in good form they pop up like daisys, right as rain and ready to behave normally–or at least not insanely–once again.

The real gem in “Drowning Ruth” is the plot, and the circuitous process by which it is revealed. We know from the first chapter that Ruth’s mother has drowned and that the only other people there were Amanda and Ruth as a toddler. What you spend the rest of the book figuring out are the exact circumstances of that death, and why Amanda has kept so many secrets for so many years.

Towards the end I started to get frustrated with the multiple twists and turns in the story line, but by that time I was in too deep and I wasn’t putting that book down, no matter how obnoxious it got. People who were invested in the picture of dysfunction and middle-class suffering that Schwarz was painting for most of the novel might be annoyed at the way she chose to end it, but I found the ending to be redemptive and life-affirming. It felt tacked on and falsely upbeat, but to be honest, after so many pages of downtrodden, unloved children being subjected to tragedy after tragedy, the tacky happy ending was a boon.

If you like kitchen table melodramas, then this is the book for you. It will keep you interested page after page from first to last. If you feel the need for literature, if you consider yourself high-brow or intellectual, this is not the book for you. But what it lacks in finesse, it makes up for in movement. If you want an easy read that you can blow through in a couple of winter days, this is certainly a book to add to your cold weather stack.

Review: Sock Dreams Extraordinary Thigh High Socks

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Having come to accept that my We Love Colors Thigh High Tights will never be thigh high for me, I still found myself in need of some thigh highs. Then like a song into my heart there came the most wonderful blog post into my g.reader on thigh high and knee high tights for fatty fat thighs like mine. Fat Girl’s Guide (a blog that you should be following because she is so helpful and thorough) had a post up about Sock Dreams.

The product descriptions on these socks are amazingly detailed, especially when one considers how many socks they have on that site. The fact that they usually write how far around the cuff stretches made me think that God is a fat girl and she shops on the Internet. Okay, maybe it’s not that great, but it’s still so great!

The Extraordinary Thigh High boasted a cuff stretch of 27 inches around, so I bought a solid pair in burgundy and a striped pair in tan and dark brown.

I ordered on a Friday, they shipped the same day with standard shipping and they arrived on Monday. If you’re ever having a slow Monday, I really recommend trying to coordinate a delivery of awesome socks, it’ll perk you right up. Especially since my shipping was free. I have no idea why my shipping was free, maybe this is a holiday thing, or maybe it was a special offer. I try not to question free shipping. [UPDATE: I have been told that shipping is always free. On doing some research a.k.a. looking at the homepage at www.sockdreams.com I see that it is free within the US. So go America, sorry foreigners.]

sock dreams extraordinary thigh high socks, review, fat fashion, www.marinarosemartinez.com

They came well packaged with this pretty label. I wish I got a picture of the back, where it listed washing instructions and stated that they were made in America, with company details, etc. But I didn’t, so oh well.

At first I worried that these socks would be itchy. Right out of the package, they felt a little rough, but that was totally not the case after I put them on. They’re not baby soft or anything, but they are very comfortable with the added bonus of sturdiness. They’re even comfortable where the cuff is around my thigh, which they fit around and stay around quite well.

An odd difference I’ve noticed between the striped pair and the solid pair is that the striped pair is slightly less stretchy, so they would sort of slip about an inch from where I put them to where they decided they wanted to be and then they would stay there the rest of the day unless I pulled them up again, and then they’d migrate to their chosen home and stay there again.

sock dreams extraordinary thigh high socks, review, fat fashion, www.marinarosemartinez.com
Where I put them

sock dreams extraordinary thigh high socks, review, fat fashion, www.marinarosemartinez.com
Where they stayed

The Solid color ones do have some drift, as socks are want to do, but not as distinct as the striped ones. Both pairs are totally comfortable, although the solid color has a cozier feel to me.

In the photos on the Sock Dreams site, the socks look a little more sparse than they actually are. It being winter, I kind of wish that they were a little thicker, but they are a good year-round thickness, and unlike the photos on their site, you can not see my skin through the knit. I’m thinking that is an effect of their flash.

Overall, I recommend these socks. I know that $16 a pair is a little steep, but considering that I paid $1.50 more plus $5 shipping for the We Love Colors tights and since I have yet to find a more user-friendly catalog in my life, I’d say that it’s well worth the price for such an elusive product.

UPDATE: It’s November 12, 2012, next month I’ll have owned these socks for 2 years, and they are still awesome. One sock in the burgundy pair (the ones I wear the most) is a little stretched out, but that’s more because I store my socks wrong (wrapping them together stretches them out.) It’s hardly noticeable at all. Other socks I’ve owned this long have gotten holes, stretched out, or lost their stretch (this usually happens to the wool ones) while the Sock Dreams have kept up under regular use. They have become some of my favorite socks.

We Love Colors Thigh High Tights Review

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In yesterday’s outfit post, I was wearing my We Love Colors Vertical Stripe Thigh High tights, and I thought I’d throw up a review of them since they’re an online company, so you guys might want to see their merchandise in action.

 

The tights cost $12.50, plus $5.00 shipping, so all told, I spent 17.50 on tights, which seemed a little high to me at the time, but since I had read in the fat girl blogs how great We Love Colors are and how well they fit a fatty, I decided to spend the money for experiments sake. Now, unlike their tights, the We Love Colors thigh highs do not have sizes, which was sort of a tip off, but I was curious to try them out anyway.

 

First off, I want to say that they shipped just a few hours after I ordered them. And that they arrived within a couple of days.

 

marina rose martinez, fat fashion, we love colors thigh high tights, www.marinarosemartinez.com

 

Out of the box, the tights were thicker than I had expected, and much sturdier feeling than the Target tights I own. They were lacking in stretch which worried me, but they’re silky and flexible, and feel like they could make it through quite a bit of wear and tear. They also looked like they could be warm. There is no discernible heel on the tights, which I liked because then I don’t have to worry about the heel pooch showing up on my calf, or hanging over my shoe like they sometimes do.

 

marina rose martinez, fat fashion, we love colors thigh high tights, www.marinarosemartinez.com

 

I could easily pull the tights up around my thighs, which are 21″ in diameter, and at first I felt like my original worries were overrated. But with walking around, the tights began to roll down like old lady stockings.

 

marina rose martinez, fat fashion, we love colors thigh high tights, www.marinarosemartinez.com

 

So the only solution was to scrunch them down below my knee.

 

marina rose martinez, fat fashion, we love colors thigh high tights, www.marinarosemartinez.com

 

And while I enjoy the baggy look, and will most definitely be wearing these tights again, I’m reluctant to spend another $17.50 on it.

 

I think that a thinner person could have a lot of fun with these tights, they’re high quality, and would be worth the money for someone with less meaty gams. But for a fatty like myself, they’re a no go, and that really stinks. I will say that as soon as there’s a We Love Colors XL Thigh High, I’ll be the first in line to buy.