Stinky Pussy Blues

I expect you saw my awesome April Fools joke yesterday. At first it was going to be scented tampons until I learned that they’re already a thing. Scented tampon, how do I find myself completely creeped the fuck out by thee? Let me toxic shock syndrome the ways. Anyway, I had to kick it up a notch. Thus, the Hungry Man tampon was born.

But for serious. If someone is close enough to my crotchal region to determine it’s stench, I either have some serious cleaning to think about, or they are intimate enough with my personal stench to understand that it is a gift I give to them without shame. I am a real lady, not a plastic doll. I have stinks of various severity which I am polite to cover for friendly company, but if somebody has their head in my cuntspace, they are no longer merely friendly, and should accept a certain amount of humanity. Ok?

In other news, I’m still going back and forth as to weather or not I’ll be participating in the PPHS Dating Sim Game Jam over this coming weekend. I got all excited, then I was reminded that I told my friends I’d drive out to Ontario with them to see a speaker and catch some lunch. Oops. I mean, the jam does say you can use previously created assets and concepts. What if previously created means over the previous 4 days? I already have the story mostly laid out in my head. It kind of started itself as soon as I heard about it. I’m more worried about the visual assets, I feel compelled to make them myself, but I’m terrible at character design. Straight ahead portraits will be fine, especially if I use a cartooney style, but changes in angle and facial expressions would take me weeks. But if I never try, I don’t know what I can do.

Since I have no previous programming experience Ben thinks I should use Novelty to program my game. The naked child on their home page doesn’t exactly instill confidence, although I guess if you’re the type of person who regularly makes your own dating sims, she’s probably more what you’re interested in than what I’m making.

Which will be a heist thriller. There. I said it. And now I can’t stop.