Tips and tricks for keeping and caring for your whiteness-challenged loved one.
An angry Mexican rant.*
1. Their culture is not “cool.” Don’t start buying their ethnic trinkets or appropriating their “ways” as a means to impress upon them how very racist you are not. Chances are we wouldn’t be dating you if we got a racist vibe off you (or we hate ourselves). Don’t make it weird by bandwagoning the same social bullshit we’re probably dating you to get away from.
2. This isn’t an after school special. We’re not an adventure story you’ll be telling your white wife or white husband about at some inevitable future date. My pussy may be an educational experience, but that has nothing to do with heritage.
3. This is definitely not an opportunity to educate your new ethnic partner in their own racial bias. If we have an abiding fear of white people, maybe one white genital is not going to be the deciding factor in overthrowing thousands of years of systematic, institutionalized racism and maybe you’re not the colorblind Ghandi Martin Luther X your ass thought you were in college.
4. We are not “all just bodies.” We happen to have bodies, and we grew up in a world where white bodies were desirable, yes, but also where they were normal; whereas bodies of color are only ever considered attractive in that they provide an exciting change from whiteness…for white people. Telling your partner you find them or parts of them attractive does not require a racial qualifier: implied or explicit.
5. Don’t do us any favors. If it feels like you’re lowering yourself to bring your ethnic lover into white spaces, please just don’t. If it feels like you have to help your ethnic partner be more white for their own good, again, fuck right off. Partners are friends and equals, not projects. You’re either ready for the jelly, or you’re not.
*I want to be clear: This has nothing to do with Ben. He has never done any of this wierd shit.
The majority of this rant is actually inspired by a book I was reading where the love interest is Native American and it was so obviously written by a well meaning but ignorant white person that I had to stop and vent. Because this isn’t the first time I’ve seen shit like this in portrayals of interracial relationships and it’s fuckin gross.
White people: We’re not here for your amusement, sexual or otherwise!