Since I so brazenly shared a low point yesterday. I want to update you guys. Mondays are always hard when things aren’t going well because they represent lost time. Every Monday is a new week to try an catch up to where I think I should be. A blank slate with nothing to show for itself. By Friday, I’m either too exhausted to care, or more often than not, have at least something I didn’t have on Monday.
The thing about taking weekends off (from this job at least; it is Ghost Tour season) is that Monday becomes a weird monolith, rising out of the pool of weekend relaxation empty and terrifying. It’s better than working 7 days, 12-17 hours because that way had me skidding along the bottom of my abilities from day to day with absolutely no resources. This Sonic the Hedgehog style controlled fall while grabbing everything in sight is actually a massive improvement.
Like I said in the update on yesterday’s post, we went from 5 days to live to 3 weeks in the span of about 12 hours. This perceived massive recovery was actually my own cautiousness coming out to save me… after first hurting me because I was totally freaking out, but it’s a learning process after all.
I got no sleep Sunday night. I still got up, had my little cry, wrote my to-do list and got my ass to work. At the same time, I still took breaks for meals and drank plenty of water, which let me work longer and had me more clear-headed than if I had done things the old way and started working at 2am when I realized I wouldn’t be sleeping. Instead, I laid still listening to audiobooks all night and trying to breathe normally so at least my body would be rested and then I made sure to fuel accordingly during the day. When I felt like I needed a change of venue, I went to the coffee shop because I know from experience that trying to force myself to work in my office at home is impossible and even more exhausting than when I take the time to pack up and change location.
No matter what happens with the business in the coming weeks, I really appreciate the level of adulting I seem to be capable of. I get that there are a lot of ways to learn these skills, and I’m really grateful that I got to learn them this way, on my own terms.