Never Get Smarter Than Your Heroes. Or Do. Whatever

Ben pointed this out:

Punk legend Henry Rollins

totally looks like Macgyver (Richard Dean Anderson)

now kiss

Although, have you ever noticed that Hank isn’t that sharp? It took me years of being a devoted fan to come to the realization that he just has a large vocabulary, and he enunciates his words, but his overall concepts weren’t solvent. It was a sad day, but also an illuminating one. I always just thought that the reason he didn’t make sense in context was that he was just operating on a higher level. Nope.

And yes, I used a nick name on the random chance that he has some ticker somewhere that only repeats the exact sentence his full name is in and not any other part of the blog post. Oh wait, that’s actually how Google alerts work.

Anyway, I went kayaking this weekend with Andy, Hilary, Jono, Katie, Marlena, Mary and her boyfriend Anthony. The front of me, from head to cleavage, and then again from thighs to toes is cherry red and itches like crazy. Does everybody else get the itchy scratchys as soon as they get a sunburn, or is that just me?

I actually did put on sunscreen, but I think it washed off when my kayak tipped over and I ended up in the canal. I was executing a tight turn, one that I had made several times before, but this time the wind was at my back and it helped me into the water. Thoughtful wind is like a handsome stalker.

Since I left everything but my keys and my money in the car, and I gave my keys to Jono, who is much less accident-prone, I was actually happy for the little swim break, especially because my sunscreen (which I retardedly forgot to reapply) floated, my sunglasses stayed on my head, and my shoes stayed in the boat where I wedged them under the life vest, which was strapped in.

If you haven’t tried to push yourself back into a kayak while it floats a full head above you on the water, you really must try it. First of all, my arms were all wobbly from paddling for the last hour, so pushing myself up (a pretty difficult task on a good day) was basically impossible. I might as well been trying to brace myself on a pair of angry octopi. It didn’t help that, in the middle of the whole thing I started laughing like a maniac and then nothing worked. Eventually, everybody crowded around me and held my kayak stable while I beached myself upon it’s plastic yellow shores. Then I lay giggling on a kayak, on a canal with my skirt up over my ass and my shorts ridden so far up my butt that they looked like lumpy underwear. Eventually I righted myself, but it took a long damn time.

Much less awesome is that Katie went in the drink right after me and she happened to have her phone in her pocket. She was thinking about getting a new one anyway.

This is the only picture I have of the entire day, taken at lunch with Jono’s phone, which also fell into the water just as he was getting out of his kayak, but he says the camera was always like that.

Left to right: Jono, Marlena, me, Katie, Andy, Hilary, Mary, Anthony