Remember that bit of icon work I showed you guys on Wednesday? Well, here’s what it turned into:
I’m bothered by the hair and the lack of eyebrow, although lack of eyebrow is really an illusion caused by the hair. So I guess I’m only bothered by the hair. I would have given it more time, but I had an urgent need to get that done today because I feel very strongly that I may not have a job at end of day today. Technically the word is supposed to come down on Monday, but I’m taking a personal day to go for my annual check-up on Monday, so they may just do it now so I don’t have to drive all the way back on Tuesday.
Either way I might come by Monday anyway just to see who’s in the bar on the ground floor.
I called our Employee Assistance Program (kindly provided to help with this transition) and the nice lady on the other end of the line told me I should make a list of things I’ll finally have time to do if I get laid off.
- Clean the living room.
- Sit next to the beach.
- Avoid traffic.
- Deal with the fact that my grandmother’s getting older and will probably need a higher level of care in this, the last stage of her life (fun!)
- Watch all the last seasons of the Netflix shows I have abandoned.
- Drum up freelance work. Or any work, really.
- Be extremely careful with my health as I will no longer have insurance.
- Consider selling everything we own, shipping the things we really can’t part with, and moving up to the Oregon Coast where life will surely be better, or at least no worse than it is here in L.A.
- Where I will contract Seasonal Affective Disorder and sink into a depression.
- Or maybe I can take advantage of the (much) lower cost of living to finally make my money how I’ve always wanted to: as an independent contractor.
- And once I make enough money, I can get some other people in on this thing and have a business.
- Where I’ll be wildly successful, and start my own empire from the Oregon coast.
- And Ben and I can raise amazing children to be conscientious citizens and not the totally spoiled and shitty brats they would have turned into down here.
- Even if they might be a little bit racist from having never seen a person of color in their lives,
- they’ll still vote Democrat, and that’s what matters.
- Or I could turn to food,
- become even more morbidly obese
- Die alone
See? The world is full of possibilities.
Anyway, please remind me on Monday day to ask the doctor for a year’s worth of birth control and allergy meds because without those two things I will be a completely useless ball of snot and pain.