If God Actually Loved You, He Wouldn’t Have Made You So Ugly

creflowdolalrThis goofy looking weirdo wants a new jet. And you know what he’s doing to acquire it? He’s asking for his ministry to provide it to him. A million billion bobble-heads that follow his reverse-toothsome ass around the world and pay for his multiple hideous mansions.

Don’t you think that if God loved this fool, he’d already have a new jet? Isn’t that the whole point of Creflo Fucking Dollar? God blesses his followers with money in Creflo’s church. But God didn’t stop him from choking the shit out of his 15-year old daughter, did he? And the truth of the matter is that God doesn’t really bless Creflo’s followers with money so much as he blesses Creflo with money. And mansions. And kids to choke.

And a herd of amazing followers who will buy his ass a jet.

Creflo Dollar, I hope you get cancer. I hope God gives you a gift you will never recover from. You con-man-ass motherfucker. Just like any low life criminal, you prey on these people’s insecurities, and you turn them against any values they may have had towards the unending pursuit of the one thing that will never make them happy: useless, empty money.

Money didn’t buy you a good enough jet. Money didn’t make you not choke your kid out in the middle of the family room of your oversized compensation of a house. Money didn’t keep congress from investigating your slovenly, whinging ass.

Creflo Dollar, you weren’t smart enough to be a CEO, so you fleeced these good people another way, didn’t you? Creflo Dollar, what did your parents do to you that made the kind of self-centered narcissist who would make a 6 minute begging video staring, among others, the President of Liberia.

Creflo Dollar, If God our father already made your current jet crash twice, don’t you think you should take the hint?!

If the all-knowing, all-seeing God you claim to speak for truly loved you, you wouldn’t be so unhappy right now, Creflo Dollar. If one mansion doesn’t fix what’s wrong with you, two isn’t going to do it. Three certainly isn’t, as you know because you recently sold your $3.75 million Manhattan apartment.

If God really loved you, life wouldn’t be this way at all. Would it?