I Have a Feeling This is Going to Get Worse

I have this professor who’s about seventy years old. She’s been reading Don Quixote her whole life and now that she’s older, she’s built her whole carreer around that one book, giving symposiums all around the world and writing papers about it all the time. SLC Punk is my Don Quixote

When I first saw it as a young druggie looser, I thought it was shit, diary of a sellout, and yet, I couldn’t stop talking about it for days, couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks, It ate a worm into my brain and the fucker just grew. That was the end of it all. That movie ruined druggie punk-dom for me, and through the years, every time I see it, that worm just gets a little bigger inside my head. It’s the end every fucking time, and now that I’m in this expensive college there’s a new angle that I never saw before. I have the chance to sell out, and it’s a thing fucking line. But can you really bring down the system from the inside, or is that just something we tell ourselves to ease the pain of betraying our own heads?

I don’t know about the other people in the world but I have a strong sense of values. System bad, chaos, subversion and Doing It Yourself good. Never become like them, don’t loose the fight. But what happens when there’s no place else to go. SLC Punk is the only movie I can think of where I completely utterly identify with the lead role every time I watch it, in every other movie I’m always the looser friend, or the funny friend, the fucking friend, whatever. But this is where I’m Mathiew Lillard, go to college and become someone that you’re going to hate or stay there and become Devon Sawa, begger, cid head mentally disturbed tweaker trash. Either way your fucked.

In other words This is the reason I’m sitting in front of the computer, cutting off chunks of my allready mutilated hair, Katy sais it’s a catharsis, and I agree. It’s the only thing that comes to mind when I dont know what to do. Take some weight off my brain.

But in the end, I’m still the one left alone with the salt flats while Bob and Trish suck face, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about watch the fucking movie, and then you will.

Chris was my Sandy, and I haven’t found a Brandy yet. I think mine got lost in the mail.

If you don’t wanna want to watch the damn movie but you still wanna stay informed here’s a few notes:

SLCPunk Is a movie about the last days of Punk Rock for this guy, Steve-o(Mathiew Lillard) and his best friend Bob in Salt Lake City.

Devon Sawa plays a drug dealer who accidently introduces way too much acid into his system, goes crazy, gets hauled away and ends up all thwacked out begging for change on the street

Trish is the girl Bob falls in love with and he starts to hang with her a lot more than Steve-o

Sandy is the girl that Steve-o had an arangement (open ralationship) with, but he got jelous of her fucking someother guy and ruined it

Randy is a really smart, cool girl that Steve-o meets at a party and we are told by the narrator (old Steve-o) that he goes on to marry her.