Fuck Your Digital Phobia

Why don’t we all put our phones down and look at our children. Stare at them. Look deep into their tiny child eyes and just wait for them to blink. Assert dominance, be the alpha. Flip the fuck out and destroy every piece of electronics in your house. Rip the wiring out of the walls. Stare at your plaster dust covered babies and try to figure out wich one you’d be pretty much okay with having seriously maimed in a textile factory accident, amd/or losing to cotton lung. Because that’s what life was like before all this electrical film flammery. That’s why they’re called the greatest generation,  because they did more in 40 years with three fingers and half a lung than any of us will ever do again. As long as you’re accounting accomplishment in terms of Jim Crow legislation passed and enacted.

YOU HAVE A MIRACLE MACHINE THAT YOU CAN LITERALLY HOLD IN THE CRACK OF YOUR ASS AND YOUR ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE SHITHEAD RIGHT NOW.

Get right with digital Christ because you are fucking up.

Stop whining that smartphones are ruining people. You know what’s ruining people? Whiner crybabies like you. Go live I. The forest if you’re so big on the real world. See how fun that is.