Four Questions and a Statement

I thought nobody responded to my desperate plea for topic suggestions, but reader Wotusay has come to the rescue. And just in time. I literally wrote out my daily tasks and their corresponding hours because there was nothing else in my head.

1– When was the last time you did something completely out of character, IE – something nice you did for someone for no other reason than you just could.

Being nice isn’t that far out of my character these days. I’d say that the one thing I’ve done that is crazy out of character for me lately is that I’ve been spending a lot of money on the businesses. I hired another guide on the tour before it had the income to support her, which was a really smart thing because things got pretty crazy after that and I’ve really been happy to have her there. This week, I also hired on friend and occasional copywriter Katy as a virtual assistant to help me take care of admin stuff, which is another really good decision. She’s helped me a lot with research this week and just knowing I can call her has really calmed me down during what is turning out to be the busiest week of my entire year.

I’m usually pretty cheap, and I don’t spend money on things I can do myself, but I think I made the right call here, despite my crippling fear about having to make sure I make enough to pay people other than myself. Especially when it feels like the time when I couldn’t actually pay myself wasn’t that far away.

2– What do you get from doing your podcast? Is it therapeutic? Relaxing, or do you have a burning need to leave a record of your existence after you’ve shuffled off your mortal coil?

It’s all of those things. I don’t have many listeners, and I don’t get a lot of feedback, so it feels a little like I’m alone, but also like I’m leaving a permanent record. The fact that it’s my voice on the recording, and not just words like here on the blog makes it somehow more real-feeling. Sometimes I think about my children or grandchildren having those recordings if they want them. And then I get a little creeped out, not because I speak frankly about sex, but because I said a still say some really fucking bone-headed things when there isn’t the filter of a re-read.

3- Marriage – what are your expectations, are you apprehensive about giving up your chastely, and being at the Becken call for your hubby

I don’t think I have any apprehensions about marriage. Ben and I have a lot of practice living together, supporting each other, and that kind of stuff. I do have this one paranoid fear that we’ll get married and then once of us will change drastically and start having massively different expectations of the other one, but I don’t think that actually happens, except where one partner is straight up lying to the other. When you communicate your expectations honestly and repeatedly with your partner, the only surprises should come as a surprise to both of you.

Deciding to get married wasn’t a surprise, it was a natural progression of a series of discussions we’d been having for years.

My only real apprehensions are about the wedding and whether or not I’ll be able to keep it together and have a good time and not completely freak out over something stupid thereby alienating all of my friends and family forever and ever.

4– I’m of the opinion that arguments become more intense when you’re married because it’s harder to say ” fuck you ” and leave. What do you think

I don’t agree, but then again I’m not married. The reason people think it’s harder to leave, or to say fuck you is because they perceive the stakes to be too high. So they do things that are against their nature in order to not rock the boat, which leads to further discord, which comes out in other ways like intense arguments. It’s the perception that the partnership is too important to be honest, or to take care of yourself before the other person is what’s really making things more intense.

5- less about dogs, please or I will reluctantly be forced to unfollow

I haven’t written a single word about that dog since Sept. 4, 2015, more than a month ago. What’s your deal with dogs anyway? This is the second time you’ve asked me to stop talking about my awesome dog. I have to say, I get more requests to talk about her.

I joked about it on the podcast, but the truth is that I’m going to write about anything in my life, and the dog is a part of that. As is my sex life, and my feminism, job, etc. etc. If somebody asked me to bee less feminist, I’d tell them to fuck right off with such vehemence that the sidebar would shake. I love you because you’re my only human podcast listener, but I have to tell you this: I will be talking about my dog. Not necessarily more than usual, but definitely not less.

I’ve had people email me asking me if I will let them pay me to write what they want, and I have told them to fuck off. In the rest of my life I do the smart thing. I say the smart thing, I plan hard and I stick to the plan, I work myself into the ground (it’s 11:30 pm right now, I’ve been working non-stop since 8:00 am. I’ve taken a 30 minute break to write this blog, and when it’s done, I’m going back to work for at least two more hours). In my personal life, which consists of this blog, the podcast, Facebook and Twitter, I do what I want. Even if it’s not popular, even if it gets no clicks and no follows. Even if it gets unfollows.

I’d hate to see you go, but I understand that you have to do what’s right for you, and the only reason I’m not cussing a blue streak about being told what to do on my own blog is because I know you’ve been a loyal commenter and contributor for many years.

Here’s that schedule I wrote, if you guys were wondering:

730a Wake up

8-915 Work on client project

930-6p Work a new organizing job. Use lunch break and bathroom breaks to run my business.

630-730 Stuff envelopes for business association

745-805 Stand for Thursday tour. Listen to a very drunk man yell at passersby. Write blog.

830-?? (it turned out to be 130am, if you were wondering) Work on organizer stuff that didn’t get done. Hit client deadlines.

730a Again